Lifestyle

5 Lessons On Aging From Lyn Slater’s Book, How to Be Old

Published

3 weeks ago

April 23, 2024

I’m four months into 29. On the cusp of evolving into what society considers a full-blown adult, I’ve learned: if you aren’t careful, people will tell you how old to feel. At every turn, I’m met with inevitable questions about marriage, children, and the vague but all-consuming concept of settling down. All around me, little sisters are becoming mothers and friends are buying houses. (To that, I ask: how?) And though I recognize 29 as objectively young, confronting a new decade—the first one the world has historically told me not to be excited for—I’m taking stock. I’m recognizing the woman I’m becoming and learning to embrace exactly who she is.

It’s taken a minute to get to this place—one where I’m looking forward to what life brings versus bemoaning the freedom and abundant collagen stores of my early 20s. Throughout this journey of growth, I’ve learned to look to other women who have asked similar questions, trying to get to the essential root of our experience. Camille, of course, is my go-to for all things aging well. But I’ve also dived deep into the writing of Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Nora Ephron, and Joan Didion for their insightful reflections.

Words have a way of connecting us to the emotions that often lay just below the surface of our subconscious. They pull at and connect us to the truths of our experience—what feels fundamental but perhaps too inherently indisputable to realize. Recently, I’ve garnered many of these truths in reading (re: devouring) Lyn Slater’s memoir, How to Be Old: Lessons in Living Boldly From the Accidental Icon.

Why Lyn Slater’s How to Be Old Is the Defining Book on Aging Well

“Taking control of how you want to live your life and what story you want to tell about yourself is an act that transcends age,” Slater writes in her memoir’s first chapter. Her statement makes clear: our age tells only a sliver of our story. We’re constantly crafting an evolving narrative. What we may want for ourselves at 30 can (and in many ways, should) look entirely different from how we envision our lives at 50. Of course, that holds for every step of our lives—from day to day, moment to moment.

Lyn Slater’s story is full of pivots and continuous evolutions. Formerly a professor of social work at Fordham University in New York, Slater taught while simultaneously taking classes at the Fashion Institute of Technology. In 2014, Slater was taking a class on starting a vintage store when the professor encouraged her to start a style blog. At the suggestion of another student, Slater called the blog Accidental Icon. On it, she posted not only her outfits, but reflections on the clothes and designers, and how they wove themselves into her internal life.

Her writing is poignant and thoughtful. Slater is unafraid to be vulnerable, and an unfettered curiosity emanates from her words. Who else better to learn about what it means to live well than from a woman who’s unafraid to admit that she still—and is always—figuring it out?

“Taking control of how you want to live your life and what story you want to tell about yourself is an act that transcends age,” – Lyn Slater

5 Lessons on Aging and Living Well

I’ve found that the people I admire most in my life don’t pretend to know everything. But still, they proceed with intention. They ask meaningful questions and move through life with a certain orientation always toward inquiry. Why do I feel this way? Does this choice align with what I want? How can I show up each day more and more authentically myself?

It’s this analysis and deliberate way of living that allows certain people to garner more from their experience. Whether you’re 29, 49, or just celebrating your 70th birthday like Slater—learning and growth are always possible. Ahead, I’m sharing my five biggest takeaways from finishing Lyn Slater’s How to Be Old.

1. A Pivot Is Always Possible

“If we change how we think, are willing to risk a little and experiment and view challenges as creative opportunities, suddenly anything is possible. Life when you are old could very well become an unpredictable, wild, and crazy adventure, as it has for me.”

So often, we think of ourselves as being stuck where we are. Whether it’s a relationship, a house, a job—whatever, we believe that we’re either in too deep or simply too far along to change course. This is largely the result of how our society views failure. I once believed that everything I took on—everything I challenged myself with—I had to see through to the very end. Pauses meant slowing my pace and changing direction signified that I had not succeeded in what I at first pursued.

Remember: becoming is a process.

But Slater offers an alternative possibility, speaking not only to the growth inherent in risk but to this opportunity to reorient ourselves elsewhere. Someplace entirely new. The oft-used adage rings true: Growth is not linear. As much as we sometimes wish they would be, our lives do not follow a straight path from Point A to Point B. Instead, we amass knowledge and experience through these winding turns. In many ways, embracing risk and accepting the unpredictable is how we learn about ourselves, and how we come into contact with what truly resonates. Remember: becoming is a process.

2. You Have to Give Yourself the Space to Be Messy

“When I put on Yamamoto’s garments—irregular, with ripped and ragged fabrics and hems—perfection becomes mundane. I have permission to be messy, defiant, imperfect, and unfinished. At the same time I feel feminine, beautiful, and sensual in the space between my body and the drape of the clothes.”

Slater reflects with an intellectual depth on the black and white, imperfect garments of Japanese designer Yohji Yamamoto. These few sentences stand as a reminder that fashion, and the personal style we cultivate for ourselves, is supposed to be fun. It’s meant to communicate how we see, experience, and move through the world. For so many, fashion is seen as the opposite. An exclusionary world that only people of a certain status, body shape, level of beauty, and yes—age, can access.

But through her career and embrace of her role as the not-so-accidental icon, Slater makes clear that there’s beauty, creativity, and excitement to be found when we release ideals of perfection. Instead, being open to the messy and allowing ourselves the freedom to explore, helps us move beyond expectations. And that’s the realm where genius in every sense occurs.

3. Our Relationships Are Everything

“When we have meaningful relationships with others, we are more likely to feel that we have a purpose, that we belong and have a place in the world. We feel valued and seen by others, which creates a sense of well-being and counteracts feelings of invisibility.”

Our friendships, romantic connections, and relationships with our family are valuable, important gifts. From them, we learn, grow, and ultimately expand. Our relationships teach us empathy—how to feel for others and look beyond ourselves. What’s more, they make us feel supported and situate us in the world.

Slater writes of the residual benefits of cultivating intentional relationships throughout our lives. From the advice, recommendations, and information we garner from those we trust, we’re able to move forward in our careers and build up others. But, Slater cautions, it’s important to be purposeful and discerning about which networks we choose to enter. When doing so, we create space for ourselves to thrive. And in Slater’s words, flourish.

4. Aging Does Not Make You Invisible

“[…] youth is not a stand-in for a self. I want women to know that while our bodies may change, the self is ours to imagine; it never leaves us. When we are old, there is often a disconnect between our chronological age and how old we feel on the inside […] All the ages we have ever been live inside us.”

In her memoir, Slater reflects on several of the messages she’s received from female followers about their fears of aging. And as she notes, while many share similar thoughts, they come from women of all ages. It seems that, as women, we have something to lament or mourn at every stage of our lives. That’s because traditionally, society holds our value in things that are inherently fleeting. Our youth, our ability to reproduce, our energy and vitality. Whereas men are given value through not only their strength but also their thoughts, women have been held to the expectation that our meaning exists externally.

But a woman’s internal world is something to honor, celebrate, and preserve. It’s something that grows alongside us, and we’re always able to access its multitudes. As Slater writes, it’s the self that amasses all we’ve ever felt, experienced, and known—and we carry that wisdom all throughout our lives. So it’s okay for that disconnect to exist. In many ways, it always will. You’re allowed to feel the excitement and inspiration you felt at 25 now at 60. You’re allowed to dress beyond what may be considered conventionally “appropriate.” And you’re allowed to take up space in the world exactly as you feel—exactly as you are.

5. Your Perspective Will Always Hold Value

“I’ll remember what I have learned about how to be old; I’ll find pearls of wisdom and gemstones of insight that reflect the light, embellishments that add beauty and sparkle to whatever I may decide to wear. That makes me, an older woman, someone of value in the world.”

A recurring theme Slater revisits often in the memoir is our desire to be known. It’s a wanting I’ve felt all throughout my life—confirmation that how you see the world reflects what others experience as well. Not only that, but reassurance that you, existing as you are, are someone of worth. That you add something special and impossible to recreate.

At a younger age, I thought, as many women do, that value was to be found in my beauty—in what I could offer to the male gaze (or any gaze, for that matter). However, I now understand that my primary value comes in the knowledge, curiosity, compassion, and empathy I reflect outwards. As Slater notes, those learnings are the “embellishments” that yield true and unchanging beauty. And no matter our age, that innately unique perspective is something we can all offer and the certain sparkle we can all radiate.

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Lifestyle

The 19 Best Weekender Bags of 2024

Published

4 hours ago

May 11, 2024

Mary Honkus

We may receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

There’s a time and a place for roller luggage, but when it comes to short two- to three-day getaways, the best weekender bags are the ultimate travel companion. These handy, oversized duffels are large enough to pack a few days’ worth of clothing along with travel necessities like shoes, toiletries, electronics, and any other essentials you’ll need for a long weekend away.

Ahead, you’ll find the most functional and stylish weekender bags for your travels. Some include smart secret pockets for protecting your valuables or separate compartments for storing your shoes, while others will comfortably slide into your rolling suitcase for stress-free airport adventures. With any of these on hand, you’ll be looking for excuses to go on a mini escape every weekend.

Our Top Picks

Our Team Favorite: Beis The Weekend Travel Bag — $108 at Nordstrom
Best Basic Weekender Bag: Signature Weekender Bag — $79.99 at Target
Best Extra Large Weekender Bag: Lambert The June Oyster Vegan Leather Travel Bag — $214.99 at Lambert
Best Small Weekender Bag: CALPAK Luka Duffle Bag — $128 at Nordstrom
Best Duffel: Dagne Dover Landon Large Neoprene Carryall — $215 at Nordstrom

1. Our Team Favorite: Beis The Weekend Travel Bag

best weekender bags — Image courtesy of Nordstrom

Anytime the Camille Styles team is traveling, we all use the iconic Beis Weekender. It may just be the most popular overnight bag of all time, thanks to its smart, oversized design. Camille Styles producer, Michelle has had hers for years and receives compliments everywhere she goes. She absolutely loves the leather construction and well-designed pockets, like the large zippered pocket that’s able to fit curated outfits, accessories, and work essentials (including your laptop!), plus a separate bottom compartment that’s specifically designed to store your shoes and toiletries.

It can get pretty heavy considering how roomy the bag is, but it makes for an exceptional carry-on or personal item because of the handy luggage sleeve, especially given the not-too-lofty price tag.

2. Best Basic Weekender Bag: Signature Weekender Bag

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to drop major moolah to find a well-made, reliable weekender. This one from Target rivals the space of our all-round pick, and the variety of use cases make it well worth the (incredible) price. Plus, beyond the roomy main compartment and padded laptop space, it also includes additional tiny pockets that keep important items like your passport and keys within reach.

You can also carry this in a variety of ways. The easy-to-grip handles fit nicely into your hands, the padded strap allows you to sling it over your shoulder, or you can rest it comfortably on your suitcase thanks to the handy luggage sleeve, all under $100.

If you tend to overpack (we’ve all been there!), don’t stress yourself out by trying to cram everything into a small bag. With the extra large Lambert weekender bag, you’ll be able to fit that fifth outfit (plus your laptop, toiletries, and accessories) with room to spare. Camille Styles Managing Editor, Isabelle adores the chic vegan leather design—which scores her countless compliments in the TSA line—because it feels incredibly luxe and features well-thought-out interior pockets. The jumbo size offers more than enough room for longer trips, so you’ll surely get a ton of use out of it.

4. Best Small Weekender Bag: Calpak Luka Duffle Bag

If you’re skipping away for a quick one- or two-night getaway, a compact tote is perfect for fitting all of your necessities. The CALPAK Luka bag fits the bill and reminds me of a marshmallow-y Mary Poppins’ bag, thanks to the trendy-yet-durable soft shell exterior. You can fit a surprising number of items inside even though it’s one of the smallest picks on this list at 16 inches wide.

And as for the pièce de résistance? An external shoe pocket that keeps your kicks separate from the rest of your belongings, whether you use this as a gym bag or a travel companion.

5. Best Duffel: Dagne Dover Landon Large Neoprene Carryall

People constantly rave about the Dagne Dover backpack, and the brand’s Landon Carryall deserves just as much hype. This sleeper hit makes for a stylish gym or overnight bag because of the soft, expandable neoprene fabric and unexpected design features. Along with a standard laptop pocket, it also has a stretch key leash, a mesh bag for easy organization, a laundry bag, and two large compartments for handy water bottle storage.

6. Best Expandable Weekender Bag: Longchamp Le Pliage Original Expandable Travel Bag

Longchamp always delivers accessible designer bags, including expandable weekenders like this leather-trimmed option. The unique origami-inspired design expands or minimizes with just a zip, making the bag deeper or shallower depending on what your current needs are. Plus, when it comes to storing, you can fold it up teeny tiny to make room for other larger items.

7. Most Versatile: MZ Wallace Nik Duffle Bag

While weekender bags are the ultimate travel sidekick, the best ones can be used for a range of needs—whether it be a gym bag, work tote, or even your everyday carryall. The size and functionality of this MZ Wallace bag have made it a staple for young professionals and jet-setters alike, and it just may become your most used bag. With a padded nylon exterior, this design is completely water-resistant to defend against the elements.

You can also pack an impressive amount inside thanks to nine (!) interior pockets (including a special laptop compartment) and seven exterior pouches. You can say bye-bye to endlessly searching for your wallet or that one pair of sunnies that you swore you packed.

8. Most Comfortable Straps: Aota Weekender Bag

The straps on weekender bags can make or break their entire functionality. Think about it: These totes can get very heavy very quickly, and you won’t always have roller luggage to rest it on. To spare you from aching shoulders or hands, opt for this Aota bag. The soft leather handles boast an ergonomic fit, while the long shoulder strap comfortably fits in the nook of your shoulder so you can lug your items around without breaking a sweat. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that the bag comes in a gorgeous faux leather finish that’s comparable to the real thing.

9. Best Lightweight: Herschel Supply Co. Maia Weekender

Lightweight bags have their advantages—mainly, they’re so much easier to tote around. The Maia Weekender feels light as air with nothing in it and somehow maintains that same feel even when packed to the brim, likely because of the twill fabric. But this bag has so much more going for it than its lightweight nature. Sure, it’s affordable, but it also looks sleek with its leather trim, has snap-down extensions to easily store more items, and is designed with a variety of internal pockets for supreme organization.

10. Best Vegan Leather: Mali + Lili Riley Vegan Leather Weekend Travel Bag

Some vegan leather looks cheap and plastic-y, but that’s not the case with this Mali & Lili bag. The PETA-certified vegan leather is strikingly similar to the real thing, and most people won’t be able to tell the difference, even if they get really close. Looks aside, the stylish bag features a roomy main compartment along with a separate bottom one for shoe storage. Cute detailing, like the included luggage tag and swappable shoulder straps, pumps up the personality for a customizable flair.

11. Best Budget: Signature Athleisure Soft Puff Weekender Bag

Weekender bags aren’t always the most affordable items, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t any diamonds in the rough. Target always comes through with stylish, cost-effective options, including this design. While the unstructured bag doesn’t have any of the bells and whistles of some of its pricier counterparts, it gets the job done with a spacious main pocket, a few zippered compartments for storing valuables, and an adjustable carrying strap for comfortable maneuvering.

12. Best Machine Washable: Vera Bradley Women’s Microfiber Grand Weekender Travel Bag

If you’re someone who has written off Vera Bradley bags because of the loud patterns, one look at this Microfiber Grand Weekender will have you reconsidering your stance. The signature Vera Bradley print is reserved for the inside of the tote. From the outside, it seems like your run-of-the-mill travel bag with exterior pockets, a luggage sleeve, and a shoulder strap. There’s one minor detail that gives this bag the advantage over the sea of others, though: It’s machine washable, so when you need to spiff it up between trips, you can throw it in and forget about it.

13. Most Stylish: Badgley Mischka Juliet Travel Weekend Bag

Fake the look of a bespoke Italian leather bag with this gorgeous Badgley Mischka weekender. Inspired by high-end equestrian styles, the stylish tote features faux leather detailing with smart pockets, gold hardware, and comfortable straps. The spacious interior can hold quite a bit—up to 35 pounds, which is more than enough for multiple days’ worth of clothing and shoes. Choose between an off-white hue with tan leather accents or opt for the sleek all-black bag.

14. Best Compartments: Away The Weekender

One of the most frustrating aspects of deep weekender bags is having to dig for the exact item you’re looking for, so you end up taking everything out to grab that one favorite blouse. Away created a genius solution to this dilemma with its clam shell-zipper duffel that sprawls open in front of you, offering a clear view of each item you’ve packed.

The separate compartments also help you curate expert-level organization: Smaller zippered pockets are perfect for storing electronics, jewelry, and some toiletries, while the outer padded laptop pocket keeps your device secure with strong magnetic closure. As a bonus, it’s available in a few neutral colors, but you can even personalize it with your initials for an extra $35.

15. Best Leather Weekender Bag: Quince Italian Leather Triple Compartment Weekender

If you want genuine leather, get ready to spend some major money for a quality weekender bag—that is, unless you shop at Quince. The brand takes out the middleman to bring you equitable, quality fashions at lesser prices. The brand’s leather weekender, for instance, is crafted with 100% top-grain Italian leather and is seriously gorgeous. Aside from the looks, the bag is extremely functional, with three zippered compartments, metal feet to prevent scuffs, a removable shoulder strap, and a luggage sleeve.

16. Best Weekender Bag with Luggage Strap: The ReNew Transit Weekender

I never realized how important a luggage strap was until I owned a bag that continuously slid off my suitcase. (Yes, it was beyond aggravating!) Not all luggage straps are created equal, but the one on Everlane’s ReNew Weekender is levels above other options. Besides firmly hugging your suitcase handle, it also doubles as a secret pocket for storing items that you want to keep on hand.

When you’re not traveling with a suitcase, this lightweight bag isn’t a pain to tote around because of the sturdy handles and adjustable over-the-shoulder strap. Some other added perks? It’s made from 100% recycled polyester from recycled plastic bottles and comes in four different colors: black, cream, gray, and olive green.

17. Best Water-Resistant Weekender Bag: Monos Metro Weekend Bag

Nothing is worse when you’re traveling than getting caught in a rainstorm and ending up with soggy luggage, which is why we had to include a waterproof bag on our list. This water-resistant weekender from Monos is guaranteed to keep your belongings completely dry, regardless of whether you opt for the nylon or vegan leather finish. It features a spacious main compartment with a separate laptop pocket and smaller pouches, while the zipper closure keeps the elements shielded from your stuff. If you do end up with wet items (you know, like sweaty workout clothes or soaked bikinis), you can pop them in the separate bottom compartment, which is also an excellent spot to pack shoes.

18. Best Personal Item: July Carry All Weekender

Some weekenders are entirely too big to meet the personal item requirements on some airlines, but that’s not the case for this pick from July. The sleek, briefcase-esque duffel measures in at 10.5- by 18- by 8.5 inches, so it can comfortably fit under the seat on most commercial jets. It also fits much more than your office essentials: Functional design elements, like the large main compartment, laptop pocket, and hidden external pocket, offer enough room for a few days worth of outfits and toiletries without feeling like you have to cram it to the brim. Not to mention, you’ll feel effortlessly chic carrying it around, thanks to the elegant look.

19. Best Splurge: Rothy’s The Weekender

There are endless rationales for splurging on the Rothy’s weekender, and at the top of the list is the bag’s care. It can be thrown in the wash when it needs sprucing up (a rare quality in structured weekender bags). The versatility makes it a no-brainer for any trip with three massive zippered compartments (including a special slot for your laptop). It can store boundless clothing and accessories while the padded straps ensure carrying the tote is painless, all while still fitting in the overhead compartment on most major airlines. This is also a purchase you can feel good about: Rather than being constructed of nylon or leather, the bag is made from recycled marine plastic.

post updated Mar. 16, 2024

post updated May. 07, 2024

Our style editor shares how to style them.

Prices were accurate at the time of publication.

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Lifestyle

What Are Peptides for Skin? A Derm Explains

Published

1 day ago

May 10, 2024

Langa Chinyoka

We may receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.

All your beauty questions—answered. Our resident dermatologist, Dr. Geddes Bruce breaks down the biggest topics in beauty, from hair loss to Botox and everything in between. Send us a DM @camillestyles with your own burning q’s and we may address it in a future column.

Peptides are everywhere. In buzzy, whipped moisturizers, celeb-approved lip treatments, and in serums and skin milks. Skincare trends come often and fade fast, but sometimes, hero ingredients emerge and become top-shelf staples. For so long, they were ignored and mispronounced. Now, they’re in even the most streamlined skincare routines. Are we witnessing the birth of a skincare star with peptides for skin? This science-backed, dermatologist-approved ingredient is having a real moment. And this moment is poised to last.

If you’re wondering what using peptides for skincare looks like, you’re not the only one. I vaguely remember hearing about them in science class, but I can’t be trusted to recall anything beyond: “the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.” Now that peptides for skincare have taken over the labels of all my favorite brands, I figured it was time to dive into this newfound skincare hero with the help of a skincare expert.

Blonde woman doing makeup in bathroom mirror.

Peptides for Skin: Everything To Know About This Anti-Aging Ingredient

Over the past year or so, I have noticed many brands introducing peptide-based products. I’ve seen them in every type of skincare product, but what do they do? (And what exactly are they?) Could you share insights into how to integrate peptides into our skincare routine and which products might be the best? – Kristen S.

I’m not the only one intrigued but overwhelmed by the sudden revelation that, apparently, we all need to be flooding our skin with peptides. Maybe we’ve all been served the same social media ads. Or perhaps they are poised to take over from holy-grail ingredients such as niacinamide and ceramides as beauty’s next big thing. To unravel the mysteries of the beauty universe, we’ve called upon board-certified dermatologist Dr. Elizabeth Geddes-Bruce, MD, to explain what’s up with peptides.

Elizabeth Geddes-Bruce, MD

Elizabeth Geddes-Bruce, MD is a board-certified dermatologist and dermatologic surgeon specializing in the practice of both cosmetic and medical dermatology. She views cosmetic dermatology as synergistic to a happy, healthy lifestyle and regularly counsels her patients in a balanced, natural approach to both cosmetic and medical dermatology.

What are peptides?

Peptides are small chains of amino acids, which are the building blocks that make up proteins. If amino acids are the bricks, the peptides are the brick wall, and the whole building is a protein. Different combinations of amino acids create peptides with widely varying functions from cell signaling to microbiome defense and more.

Peptides can benefit your skin by increasing hydration, stimulating collagen, and elastin production, decreasing inflammation, and promoting wound healing.

The Benefits of Using Peptides for Skin

Peptides for skincare address the following:

fine lines and wrinkles
improved skin firmness and elasticity
reduced redness
improved hyperpigmentation
can also help protect the skin from environmental damage

Almost everyone can benefit from using peptides, and most are easily tolerated. There are formulations to address a number of issues. The real question is: How effective is the product? Have there been scientific studies to back up the claims?

Note that products with peptides can be pricey. Before purchasing, ask: do the costs justify the degree of improvement?

Ingredients to Use With Peptides

Peptides pair really well with hyaluronic acid and ceramides, ingredients that work to promote skin hydration and moisturization. You can also find peptides in products containing antioxidants, acids, and retinols. However, it’s important that they are formulated correctly because harsher ingredients can interact and lead to peptide degradation.

The best peptides products with hyaluronic acid:

How to Choose Peptide Products for Your Skin

Ideally your product will contain a high concentration of peptides and be from a reputable brand that has clinical studies to back up its efficacy. It will be packaged in a way to preserve the integrity of the peptides, which can be super sensitive to environmental factors like higher temps and air.

The specific sequence of amino acids in the peptide is crucial to its function. With countless combinations possible, it’s exciting to think we may have only scratched the surface of what can be accomplished.

The Best Peptide Products, According to a Derm

Alastin Skincare

I absolutely love Alastin skincare products with their TriHex technology that contains peptides to promote the removal of old damaged collagen and elastin and facilitate the promotion of new. Their Nectar helps my patients heal quickly after procedures and achieve incredible results. And their eye cream is my personal favorite.

Revision Skincare

Revision skincare also has an incredible selection of peptide rich products, including Revox 7 that decreases expression lines (I’ve heard it be called “Botox in a bottle”) as well as the cult-favorite Nectifirm that has peptides that work to tighten saggy skin on your neck.

The Ordinary

The Ordinary brand is an affordable skincare line that also has some peptide fan favorites, including their Copper Peptides serum (for firming) and Argireline solution (to target dynamic fine lines).

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