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How Keeping In Touch With Relatives Is Good for You

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Families, almost from their start, face forces that could pull them apart. When a family begins to mature, that potential loss of connection, that feeling of something changing, is difficult to confront.

And it makes communication even more important.

“This idea of feeling connected becomes very reinforcing, to all of us, and it contributes to happiness, it contributes to mental health and it does contribute also to physical health,” says John Northman, a psychologist from Buffalo, NY.

“It’s well known that when people feel better connected, that they feel better physically, they’re certainly less likely to feel depressed — or if they do, they’re in a better position to get out of being depressed.

“Overall, it leads to a feeling of a greater degree of support and connection psychologically,” he said.

The research on the importance of communication in families is strong and varied.

In the Handbook of Family Communication, editor Anita Vangelisti, a professor at the University of Texas, writes, “Communication is what creates families. When family members communicate, they do more than send messages to each other — they enact their relationships.”

A paper in the journal Military Medicine says communication can cut both ways in families. It says that deployed soldiers can get a big dose of positivity when chatting with folks at home, but in some cases, that contact can have a negative impact.

It all boils down to this: Good family communication is important because families are what we most often turn to for support, Vangelisti says. If families aren’t communicating, support systems can fall apart.

Help for family members can take many different forms, Vangelisti says, including:

Emotional support: “Making us feel better, sharing in happy moments together,” she says.

Esteem support: “Making us feel good about ourselves, validating when we’re doing well, helping out when we’re not doing as well.”

Network support: “That sense of belonging. That’s really important with families, so you kind of have a home base, a place where you feel accepted and you belong, no matter what.”

Informational support: How to do things that maybe were done by others in another family setting.

Tangible support: Things like financial support and care packages from home.

Once you know it’s important for your family to communicate, you have to figure out how. Even now, when everyone has a cell phone handy, to keep the connection flowing can be tricky.

Haven’t heard from a relative in a while? Can’t find the time to call back home? Emails are wonderful tools … except when they’re not.

“Emails are notorious for generating misunderstanding, because of the speed and thoughtlessness with which people generate them,” says Arthur Bodin, a psychologist and former president of the American Psychological Association.

They can easily be misunderstood because tone is often absent.

“It makes for poor emotional communication,” Bodin says.

Likewise, texts or tweets — even phone calls — can lack the cues you get only with visual connection. Anyone who has done Skype or FaceTime knows that those forms of communication aren’t always the best way, either.

Still, something is better than nothing, Vangelisti points out.

“I guess what most communication people would emphasize,” she says, “is it’s not quite as much the channel as the way that channel is handled.”

With a kid away at school or a parent separated from the family, figuring out who makes the first communication move is sometimes difficult.

“If someone doesn’t take that risk and reach out,” Vangelisti says, “it’s not going to happen.”

Some psychologists warn about demanding communication.

“Call me every Friday night” might not only be impossible, it might be counter-productive for someone trying to find footing in a new situation. Demands don’t work in those situations, Bodin says. Understanding does.

“First of all, you don’t call them every night or on any regular schedule,” Bodin says, speaking specifically of a parent with a child away at college. “You don’t put a guilt trip on them if they don’t want to call their mother or father.

“You recognize they have a life of their own. You don’t try to micromanage them there.”

Still, family members wanting a connection can find a way.

  • Ask, don’t demand, a call or email.
  • Send a card or brief email.
  • Leave a message or send a text message without the demand or expectation of one in return.

Every talk or letter doesn’t have to be deep, either. You can talk about dogs, the weather, or your health, the neighbors that used to live next door, or your new ones. Talking about the latest crazy thing Aunt Edna said might actually help strengthen your connection.

”A lot of the time people want these conversations to be deep, meaningful, impactful,” Vangelisti says. “Allowing them to be boring and routine, I just think that’s another thing that we forget about.

“All those boring things, those are the things, really, that our relationships and our lives are made of. Letting those be part of our conversations at a distance lets us stay in touch in a real important way.”

Psychologist David Olson devised something called the Circumplex Model of Marital & Family Systems to help examine and treat families. 

It breaks down three aspects of marital and family systems:

  • Togetherness
  • Flexibility
  • Communication

It suggests these things are crucial to having successful family communication:

  • Listening skills
  • Speaking skills
  • Self-disclosure
  • Clarity
  • Continuity tracking
  • Respect and regard

Psychologists talk about “families of orientation”  and “families of procreation.” Put another way, the family you were born into and the family you create.

Communication plays an important part in keeping them both intact because of the stress of transition.

“Their physical well-being is already going to be a little bit at risk under stress. Their body is in a stressful state,” Vangelisti says. “So having that communication and that relationship can be really important. We just underestimate that.”

The good news is that families, even those in transition, have one huge advantage in the ability to stay connected.

They are family.

“You have a lot of history and you have those ties of family that have been there since [childhood],” Northman says. “Despite the — should we say, ‘mishaps?’ — that occur along the way, in adolescence and into adulthood, you have those ties that maintain the connection. That’s where families can be particularly strong.”



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How to help your teen manage college rejection disappointment – CHOC

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Published on: May 9, 2024
Last updated: April 16, 2024

A CHOC mental health expert offers tips for parents to help their teens with college rejection disappointment.

Link: https://health.choc.org/how-to-help-your-teen-manage-college-rejection-disappointment/



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Taking Racism out of the Kidney Disease Equation

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The first sign something was wrong with Curtis Warfield came in 2005, when a lab test found protein in his urine during a routine checkup. In 2012, Warfield was diagnosed with stage 3 kidney disease. Two years later, he started dialysis.

“When you get diagnosed, you’re sitting there kind of like a deer in headlights. You don’t know what’s going on. You don’t know what’s coming next,” Warfield said. “All you know, you have this disease.”

Warfield, a Black man, was 52 years old, had been healthy, and had no family history of kidney disease. As his condition worsened and he worked his way through treatment options, he experienced a form of racism without knowing it: a math equation that counted his race when it estimated his kidney function.

That equation, called the estimated glomerular filtration rate or eGFR, is an important variable that helps dictate the course of treatment for an estimated 37 million people with kidney disease across the country. The eGFR equation estimates how well a person’s kidneys are filtering blood, taking into account a person’s age, gender, and levels of creatinine, a waste product naturally made by people’s bodies that is cleared out through the kidneys. But it has long involved a controversial variable: race.

If a person self-identifies as Black, the equation adjusts their score, increasing it. No other races are counted in the equation. As a result, Black people have higher eGFR scores than people of other races. Those scores, which estimate how well kidneys are functioning, influence doctors’ treatment recommendations. The lower the score, the more likely a patient is to begin dialysis or even to receive a kidney transplant. 

As the disparities facing Black people with kidney disease became more widely studied, the race-based eGFR has been increasingly challenged by nephrologists, high-profile kidney disease organizations, and, crucially, medical students who questioned their educators about the biological basis for differentiating between Black and non-Black people.

Warfield has been advocating for other people with kidney disease since he received a transplant in 2015. He joined a multi-organization task force spearheaded by the National Kidney Foundation in 2020. The task force spent months diving into the issue, challenging the inclusion of race in the eGFR, and ultimately initiated two new equations for estimating kidney function.

The new, race-neutral equations came out this past fall. And in February, the United Network for Organ Sharing (UNOS), the nonprofit organization that manages the organ donation and transplant system in the U.S., proposed dropping the use of the racialized eGFR in favor of a race-neutral eGFR. As a result, kidney care in the U.S. is at a watershed moment of moving past a deeply entrenched, institutionally racist equation.

Dropping the race factor from kidney estimations is a crucial step in reducing disparities in kidney disease and treatment, according to specialists on the National Kidney Foundation’s task force. Black Americans are at a disproportionate risk for conditions that contribute to kidney disease, like high blood pressure, diabetes, and heart disease. While Black people make up less than 14% of the population in the U.S., they encompass 35% of people on dialysis, according to the National Kidney Foundation.

“People that are Black are much less likely to be referred to transplant even when they are on dialysis. When referred, they’re much less likely to be listed. When listed, they’re much less likely to be given a kidney transplant. There are disparities every step of the way,” said Rajnish Mehrotra, MD, chief of nephrology at Harborview Medical Center and a University of Washington professor of nephrology and medicine.

Those disparities were the basis of increased questions from medical students over the past several years, Mehrotra said, particularly when it came to the equation the students were learning to assess kidney function.

“They were told in the class that there’s an equation in which it reports a different number if you’re Black versus if you’re not Black. And they challenged the premise of that, as in like, ‘What is the evidence that there is a difference there?’’ Mehrotra said. “And so the deeper we dug in terms of searching for the evidence to support a differentiated reporting by race, we came to the assessment that the evidence supporting that is not strong at all.”

University of Washington Medicine, where Mehrotra works, became one of the first institutions to do away with the race variable of the eGFR equation back in June 2020.

But there was a broader movement going on as well, involving the premier professional societies for kidney specialists, the National Kidney Foundation and the American Society of Nephrology, as well as patient advocates (including Warfield), clinicians, scientists, and laboratory technicians, all convening with the goal of phasing out the racialized eGFR in favor of a race-neutral approach.

In June 2021, a year after Washington Medicine dropped the racialized eGFR, the task force formed by those organizations released an interim report questioning the use of race as a factor in diagnosing kidney care.

The race variable in the eGFR had come about based on research from the 1990s, according to the report. Published in 1999, the Modification of Diet in Renal Disease (MDRD) study was one of the first to include Black people – an earlier kidney function estimation equation was based entirely on white, male patients’ information – and it found higher levels of serum creatinine among Black adults than their white counterparts, the task force authors write in their report.

At the time of the MDRD, making a mathematical adjustment based on race was seen as an advance because including Black people in studies at all was an advance, according to the report.

But within the MDRD is a troubling justification for higher creatinine levels among Black people: earlier studies had shown that “on average, black persons have greater muscle mass than white persons.” The three studies cited there, published in 1977, 1978 and 1990, compared different health measures, including serum creatinine kinase and total-body potassium levels, in Black and white study participants. The studies all state that separate reference standards are needed for Black people, attributing differences in results to differences in racial biology.

Today, those conclusions would be challenged.

“Our understanding of race has evolved over the last quarter century,” said Paul Palevsky, MD, the president of the National Kidney Foundation and a professor at the University of Pittsburgh, one of the primary organizations in the task force. “Rather than being biologically based, race is much more of a social construct than anything else.”

In September 2021, the task force released their two new equations that estimate kidney function. Neither uses race as a factor. One is very similar to the racialized eGFR, which measures creatinine. The other equation adds a second test that measures cystatin C, another chemical in the blood that serves as a filtration marker.

Both equations have been recommended because even though creatinine testing is available at virtually all laboratories across the country, cystatin C is not, leading to a higher price tag and decreased access to the test. The process to move laboratory practices toward the new standard is underway, said Palevsky, and he’s hopeful that the major labs will make the change over the next several months.

“In medicine, the time that it normally takes from when a clinical practice guideline or recommendation is published to when it really seems to enter into clinical care is about a decade,” Palevsky said. “In this case, what we’re seeing is a very rapid implementation of the new equation.”

The new equations are slightly less precise compared with the old equation, Palevsky and Mehrotra agree. But the estimates are just that – estimates – and should be used as just one part of a much more comprehensive clinical analysis of a person’s health and needs.

And as racial disparities across medicine continue to be studied and understood, the impacts of factoring in race in health care decisions can have a corrosive effect beyond an individual person and their diagnosis, Palevksy said. “As we teach medical students and residents, if we use race-based algorithms, we are reinforcing for them this concept, this false concept, that race is a biological determinant of disease, which it is not,” Palevsky said.

Systemic racism factors into Black people’s health outcomes in many different ways, from chronic stress of experiencing racism to limited access to healthy food to bias of health care providers. These problems are deeply entrenched and require their own sustained solutions.

The new eGFR equation, though, is a step in the right direction, Palevsky said.

“Will it solve the problem of disparities in kidney care? I think we would be deluding ourselves to think that a simple change in an equation is going to solve much, much deeper-rooted problems,” Palevsky said. “Certainly just changing an equation isn’t going to solve the problems of disparities, many of which are rooted in historic racism.”

Those disparities will only be meaningfully lessened by large-scale investment into the health of poor communities. But the eGFR equation is a meaningful step for Black people with kidney disease, nonetheless. The benefits of the new eGFR equation, Warfield said, expand beyond the equation itself.

“It’s opening eyes and doors to other disparities that are going on, at least within the kidney community, and getting people to talk about and look at what all is going on,” Warfield said. “It’s good to have to know that the patient’s voice is now sitting at the table and being listened to, and not just decided by the medical community.”



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Vegan, Vegetarian Diets Unlock Extra ZZZs

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May 8, 2024 — Want to sleep better and longer? Ditch the meat. At least that’s what some experts are saying. 

Vegans and vegetarians sleep around 30 more minutes per night than average, and up to 90% of them report good or excellent sleep quality, according to a recent survey published by the Sleep Foundation. 

Poor sleep leads to poor food choices,” according to Abhinav Singh, MD, medical director of the Indiana Sleep Center and medical advisor for the Sleep Foundation. “That is why they are called comfort foods — because nobody who’s tired and sleep-deprived is going to reach for a salad.”

Speaking of salad, people who follow a raw vegan diet fared the best. The paleo or “caveman diet” — which centers around meat, fish, fruits, and vegetables — came in second place, followed by kosher and a standard vegan diet, respectively. All these groups had better sleep than those who follow no specific diet. 

But linking a specific diet with better sleep can be a “slippery slope,” according to Cara Harbstreet, a registered dietitian and owner of Street Smart Nutrition. For one, self-reported dietary habits often come with inaccuracies. Survey respondents also had the option of choosing more than one diet. 

“There are also different interpretations of dietary patterns, such as what ‘keto’ means to one person may mean something else to another person,” said Debbie Fetter, PhD, assistant professor of teaching in the department of nutrition at the University of California, Davis. “There are many forms of vegetarianism as well. This may mean respondents could classify their dietary patterns differently, which affects the results.”

Instead of focusing on a specific diet, aim for 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night, Fetter said, noting that more than a quarter of American adults don’t meet this goal. Also, start incorporating more plants into your diet, she suggested. A whopping 90% of American adults do not get the recommended 2 cups of fruit and 2.5 cups of vegetables per day.

“Sleep deprivation can have a negative impact on cognitive function, which may lead to impaired decision-making and influence health. For example, if someone is low on sleep, they may choose more energy-dense comfort foods instead of a nutrient-dense option, or they could feel too tired to engage in physical activity,” Fetter said.

Certain nighttime snacks can also help with sleep. 

“Tart cherries, yogurt, fatty fish like salmon, and kiwis (all included in the survey questions in some manner) are foods we know could support better sleep when eaten regularly,” Harbstreet said. 

The survey found that yogurt eaters had the highest sleep quality (61%). Fruit and berry munchers were a close second (58%). Those who snack on cookies, cake, and brownies surprisingly came in third (53%). But only indulge in the latter on occasion, according to Singh, the author of Sleep to Heal.

“Processed foods and sugary treats should be infrequent, especially before bed, [because] eating processed foods at 10 p.m. can spike your blood sugar, which activates your kidneys,” he said. “Then your sleep quality is poor because [of] micro awakenings and even bathroom breaks at night, which can then start to fuel some insomnia habits.”

And a word of caution: it can be tricky to label certain foods as sleep-promoting or not, especially when we do not have critical information about the people who selected those foods. 

“For instance, based on this survey, people who consumed cereal reported having the worst sleep quality — but we don’t know about these people’s lifestyles, sleep conditions, dietary or physical activity habits, socioeconomic status, stress level, and more that can all have an impact on their sleep. It may not be because of the cereal,” Fetter said. 

Insomnia was the most common sleep disturbance among respondents in the survey. If you are having trouble falling asleep, here are a few things you can try: Skip spicy meals before bedtime, as it can lead to heartburn. Have a scheduled bedtime and wake-up time and stop drinking caffeine 6 to 8 hours before bed. Creating a wind-down routine — such as reading a book, journaling, or coloring in an adult coloring book — can also promote good sleep hygiene, according to Fetter. You could also try  a “sleepy girl mocktail,” a viral trend that is a nonalcoholic concoction of sparkling water, tart cherry juice, and a magnesium supplement. 

“How well it works is still up for debate,” Harbstreet said, noting that some people swear by it, others found no difference, and others reported the carbonation or sugar content seemed to negatively impact sleep. 

For more information on better sleep, see WebMD’s Tips for Better Sleep.





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