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69 Sex Positions That Reinvent the Classic

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The 69 sex position has been the subject of lore for what feels like centuries. It’s hardly a new sex position. Two partners give and receive oral sex simultaneously, while positioned head-to-toe, resembling the number 69. 

In pop culture, it usually happens between a vulva- and penis-owner, but 69 doesn’t discriminate based on body parts or sexuality. Absolutely anyone with any body can partner up.

Admittedly, 69 sex position gets mixed reviews. Giving and receiving oral sex at the same time isn’t the easiest thing in the world and not everyone loves it. And that’s OK; not every sex position works for everyone. But 69 can still be fun and pleasurable, if both partners are up for the adventure of trying something new (like Amazon sex position).

The key to perfecting 69 sex position is finding a style that works for everyone involved so both partners find it physically comfortable, pleasurable, and exciting. Thankfully, there are plenty of variations, modifications, and add-ons to enhance the experience, from utilizing sex swings to cock rings to sex toys for men and sex toys for women.

Here are 10 variations on 69 sex position you should try. First, let’s start with the OG.

What Is 69 Sex Position?

Traditional 69 sex position positions partners directly on top of one another for simultaneous stimulation.

Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner

Why It’s Great

Since both partners are lined up head-to-toe, the bottom partner is able to give the top partner oral while simultaneously receiving. 

How to Do It

  1. Typically, the taller, larger of the two partners lies down on their back. 
  2. The top partner lies on top of the other, positioned head-to-toe, with their mouth lined up with their partner’s genitals. They should bend their knees and brace their weight.

Standing 69 

Standing 69 takes a fair amount of acrobatic strength, but it’s a thrilling head rush for the inverted partner.

Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner

Why It’s Great

This 69 sex position is all about novelty and theatrics.

How to Do It

  1. In this deeply athletic position, the standing partner holds their partner upside-down, with the inverted partner’s hips directly in front of their face.
  2. Both partners wrap their arms around each other’s torsos for support. 
  3. The inverted partner can rest their knees on the standing partner’s shoulders for balance and support.

Pro Tip

Only do this position if the standing partner is strong enough to hold the inverted partner safely. This is a difficult 69 sex position to pull off, so consider standing against a wall to support the standing partner and place pillows on the ground for a soft, safe dismount.

Sideways 69

Sideways 69 is among the most comfortable 69 sex positions, letting both partners relax.

Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner

Why It’s Great

This position is a more comfortable choice for anyone who doesn’t love the face-sitting aspect of the classic. It’s the ultimate lazy version of 69: You get all the thrill, without all the effort.

How to Do It

  1. Both partners lie on their sides, positioned head to feet, with their mouths aligned with each other’s genitals. 
  2. Open your top legs like clamshells to give better access to the penis and/or clitoris. 

Pro Tip

Grabbing a pillow for both partner’s heads can be a huge game-changer for comfort. Additionally, both partners can gently rock their hips back and forth to get some extra stimulation.

Sex Swing 69

Take the classic sex position to new heights with a sex swing.

Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner

Why It’s Great

If you’re the adventurous type, this one’s for you. 

How to Do It

  1. One partner lies on their back on the sex swing, with their head between the standing partner’s legs. 
  2. The standing partner bends forward at the waist to access their partner’s penis or vulva on the swing.

Pro Tip

Be sure you have high-quality gear for this move. You want a swing with a seat conducive to one partner lying flat. Adam and Eve Fetish Fantasy Spinning Swing and the brand’s Extreme Swing are solid choices. If you want even more options, check out the best sex swings.

Mouth-Free 69 With Toys

Mouth-free 69 is an alternative to 69 sex position if you want foreplay without the oral sex.

Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner

Why It’s Great

Clit vibrators and penis strokers are excellent sex toys to use during foreplay or the main event. You can always play with toys, then go to town on each other after with oral or penetrative sex.

How to Do It

  1. Assume a sideways 69 position setup. 
  2. Use your partner’s favorite sex toy on them. 
  3. If it vibrates, start on the lowest settings first, then ramp things up. You can also play with edging.

Pro Tip

Choosing the right gear is crucial to maximize this position. We love We-Vibe Tango and Maude Vibe Personal Massager, as they offer pinpoint clitoral stimulation. You can also try a clit-sucking vibrator like Lelo Sona 2. It’s amazing in this 69 sex position because the toy does all the work for you. For penis strokers, Lovehoney Head Master Vibrating Blow Job Stroker is unbeatable.

69 Sex Position With Pillow or Wedge

Enhance 69 sex position with a pillow or wedge.

Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner

Why It’s Great

Having the taller person’s hips lifted can slide everything into place, without any neck-straining.

How to Do It

  1. If your body parts aren’t quite lining up, use a positioning pillow to get mouths and groins where they need to be. 
  2. The taller partner lies on their back with a pillow or wedge under their hips, while the shorter partner straddles their face like traditional 69. 

Pro Tip

A designated sex pillow can really change the game for this position. Liberator Wedge and Dame Pillo Wedge are specially designed to give your hips the lift you need.

69 Sex Position With Toys

Alternating oral sex with sex toys during 69 sex position is a great way to enhance the classic.

Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner

Why It’s Great

Up the stimulation using toys and 69 gets way more enjoyable. This may sound more complicated than it is in practice. It really boils down to enhancing stimulation for more pleasure. Vibration and mouth action go a long way. Don’t be afraid to experiment.

How to Do It

  1. Both partner’s assume traditional 69 sex position.
  2. The penis-owner can use a vibrator against the vulva-owner’s clitoris. Or, they can use a G-spot wand, if internal stimulation is preferred.
  3. The vulva-owner can use their mouth in tandem with a masturbation sleeve on the penis-owner. 

Pro Tip

Since this is all about experimenting, you want a variety of toys with reasonable budgets. For clitoral toys, try Skyn Caress, Bami Mini Vibe, or B Swish Classic Curve. For G-spot wands, try PlusOne Dual MassagerPlusOne Personal Massager, or Unbound Stellar Glass Dildo. For masturbation sleeves, spring for Fleshlight Quickshot Vantage, Archwave Ghost Male Stroker, or one-time-use Tenga Eggs. All toys are under $50.

More 69 Sex Positions We Love

Seated 69

Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner

How to Do It

  1. One partner sits down on an armchair or couch, back firmly pressed against the back. 
  2. The other partner is inverted, using the sitting partner’s shoulders and the back headrest of the couch or chair to support their weight. 

Pro Tip

Be sure the chair you’re using has a solid back to support your weight. Otherwise, this position can require too much core strength to be enjoyable. Like standing 69, this position is ideal for inverted partners who are smaller in size, as it can be hard to hold their entire weight while going to town on their body.

The Freestander

Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner

Why It’s Great

This is a fun position to experiment with power play and deep throating. Try putting a blindfold on the partner lying down; just be sure to lay ground rules so everything is consensual and comfortable.

How to Do It

  1. One partner lies face-up on a bed with their head by the end. 
  2. The other partner stands before them. If the bed isn’t tall enough to properly align the mouth and genitals, the standing partner can bend their knees and place their hands on the bed for support.   
  3. The standing partner can rock their hips or the lying down partner can grip the standing partner’s glutes to control the movement.

Pro Tip

Place a pillow under the lying partner’s head. This can help with head positioning without straining their neck. 

Squatting 69

Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner

How to Do It

  1. Rather than lying in the regular 69 position, the bottom partner sits upright on any flat surface, hands behind them or to the side for support.
  2. The top partner squats over the bottom partner, placing their hands on the floor, feet wide on either side of their partner’s hips. Depending on personal anatomy, the top partner can keep legs bent or straighten them out so heads are aligned with genitals. 

Pro Tip

Keep in mind this position requires strength and flexibility, especially for the top partner’s low back and legs. Bending at the knees can make sustaining this position for a longer period easier. Incorporate toys like a G-spot wand, like the stainless-steel Njoy Pure Wand.

Lazy Girl 69

Illustrations by Katie Buckleitner Laxy

Why It’s Great

Sometimes you need a lazy sex position that satisfies your needs without feeling strenuous.

How to Do It

  1. The bottom partner lies down on their back, knees bent. 
  2. The vulva-owner lies face-up on top of their partner, with their butt on their chest, legs splayed to allow access to the clitoris. 

Pro Tip

Place a pillow under the bottom partner’s head to ease any neck strain.

12 Ways to Enhance 69 Sex Position

1. Relax

Make sure both of you are comfortable in the position before beginning. Keep things light and fun. Don’t put the emphasis on climaxing; instead, relish in the intimacy and how it can enhance pleasure whether as foreplay or the main event.

2. Incorporate Foreplay

Foreplay helps to relax both partners but also, due to the intricacies of 69, you become limited in pleasing other parts of the body once you’re in position. So, start by nibbling ears, licking nipples, sensually rubbing, and even teasing with a vibrator to heighten the pleasure before you move to 69.

Related: How to Use Anal Beads Alone or With a Partner

3. Be Patient

“Getting the hang of this position might take some time,” says Melissa Cook, AASECT-certified sex therapist. Be respectful of the adjustments your partner needs to make it the most comfortable experience.

4. Know Your Angles

Since body types and heights vary, it’s easy for bodies to be misaligned. Make the necessary adjustments to ensure your neck isn’t strained, which can result in an uncomfortable experience all around.

Supporting props like pillows can make 69 sex position more comfortable, says Cook. Add one under the bottom partner’s hips or position them under the top partner’s arms. 

5. Change Your Positioning

“In general, most vulva-owners prefer to receive oral sex while lying down, but with 69, the typical position is for the vulva-owner to be lying on top,” says Johnson. Switch things up and lie on top of her, albeit slightly off to the side so your full weight isn’t on her. Or, lie side-by-side to switch up the position and make it immediately more comfortable, says Cook.

Related: The Best Prostate Massagers Can Improve Your Sex Life. These Are the Best to Try

6. Alternate Who Receives

Since most people find it difficult to concentrate on their orgasm while performing oral sex, take turns with who gives and receives, Johnson suggests. 

7. Get Your Hands Involved

Yes, this position widely focuses on cunnilingus, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use your hands for added pleasure. Vulva-owners can tug on their partner’s testicles or rub the shaft of their penis; penis-owners can finger their partner; and both can enjoy anal and nipple play.

8. Use a Cock Ring

A cock ring constricts the blood vessels to the penis for a fuller, longer erection and more intense orgasm. Wear one during 69 for multi-levels of stimulation and to take some pressure off your partner.  

9. Use a Vibrator

Since some vulva-owners find it difficult to orgasm solely from oral sex, using a bullet vibrator or wand in tandem with oral stimulation makes the experience more enjoyable, says Cook.

Related: The Best Nipple Clamps of 2024 for Maximum Pleasure

10. Use an Anal Plug or Beads

The 69 sex position keeps pleasure focused on the vulva and penis, but using an anal plug helps to make it a more full-body orgasm.

If plugs aren’t your thing, try anal beads, which are softer and come in various sizes and materials for stimulating the prostate.  

11. Lube Up

While there’s a lot of saliva exchanged in this position, adding lube to the scenario can make it more fun and casual—especially if you lather up the whole body so when you slide against each other it’s an added level of sensation, almost like an erotic body massage. Just be sure to lay down some towels first.

12. Try a New Location

Cook suggests changing up the location. Sure, the bedroom is the most comfortable, but it’s also the most routine. Do it on the couch, in the guest bedroom, on the stairs, or the kitchen floor…

Related: 15 Missionary Sex Positions That Are Anything but Boring

Why You Should Trust Me

I have been in the sexuality space as an educator, writer, and therapist for over a decade. When it comes to the topic of sexual health and wellness, there’s not much I haven’t written about and researched.

I’m a COSRT-registered, certified sex and relationship psychotherapist, specializing in Gender Sexuality and Relationship Diversity (GSRD). I’m also an accredited GSRD therapist with Pink Therapy. I currently work for The Therapy Yard, a psychosexual and relationships clinic in London, England.

On top of my clinic work, I’m also an author. My first book, All The F*cking Mistakes, is all about embracing your sexy self and living your very best life.

My work regularly appears in many publications including Cosmo, Glamour, Men’s Health, and Refinery29



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Health

5 Family and Community Engagement Strategies to Improve Student Outcomes

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Strong school-family-community partnerships bring exceptional value to children’s education. A recent book by Karen L. Mapp, a senior lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, and four other co-collaborators synthesizes the available research to explain who benefits from these partnerships and the many advantages of family and community engagement.

Everyone Wins! The Evidence for Family-School Partnerships & Implications for Practice (Scholastic, 2022) cites various research to demonstrate how family-community-school partnerships benefit all stakeholder groups when they’re approached effectively:

  • Students have higher grades, better attendance, deeper engagement in school, greater self-esteem, and higher rates of graduation and college attainment.
  • Educators enjoy better job satisfaction, better success motivating students from different backgrounds, more family support, and an improved mindset about students and their families.
  • Families have stronger relationships with their children and better rapport with educators. They can navigate school policies and advocate for their children more effectively.
  • Schools enjoy a better climate, more support from their community, and improved staff morale—leading to better teacher retention.
  • School districts and communities become better places to live and raise children. They experience fewer disciplinary problems, greater participation in afterschool programs, and more family and student involvement in decision-making.
community members talking and hugging in matching green volunteer t-shirts in front of an outdoor mural

What elements make school-family-community partnerships particularly effective? Here are five tips for how school systems can successfully promote family and community engagement in education and drive better student outcomes.

1. Successful Family Engagement Requires Intentional Leadership

Engaging with families has to be a core activity and not just an afterthought. It requires a total commitment by school and district leaders, and this commitment must include investing in the tools and training needed to help educators effectively engage with families from all backgrounds. It must be a real and intentional focus, and as Mapp says: “It’s real when I see it on your budget sheets.”

2. Teachers and Administrators Must Communicate Clearly and Consistently

To encourage family involvement in their children’s education, educators must interact with families frequently—and in many ways. For instance, teachers and administrators might engage with families in person during school drop-off and pick-up periods, set up a Family Information Board in the school’s lobby, write and distribute regular newsletters or blog posts, and/or send emails or text messages to parents.

Communicating effectively is one of the National PTA’s “National Standards for Family-School Partnerships,” which guides how schools and families should work together to support student success. Teachers and administrators should learn about and meet families’ preferred methods of communication, and families should be able to share and receive information in culturally and linguistically relevant ways.

3. Develop Healthy, Positive Relationships Based on Mutual Trust and Respect

Interactions between educators and families should be positive and reciprocal, with families feeling valued and supported. Educators can establish trust and encourage healthy, two-way communications with families by sharing information about their children’s positive behaviors and accomplishments and which skills may need work. Listen to all parents and provide opportunities for shared decision-making.

4. Be Mindful of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion

Welcoming all families and fostering a sense of belonging is another National PTA standard. When families engage with your school, do they feel respected, understood, and connected to the school community?

To ensure equity and inclusion, learn about the families you serve and their unique needs and challenges. Use culturally responsive engagement practices. Create opportunities for connection, especially with historically marginalized families and students. Learn about and seek to remove barriers for families to participate fully in their children’s education.

5. Help Families Support and Extend the Learning at Home

Students learn more effectively when they have opportunities at home to practice, reinforce, or extend the skills and lessons they’ve learned in school. Educators can facilitate this process by giving families specific ideas for expanding their children’s learning at home, such as by incorporating core math and literacy concepts into everyday routines.

Schools can also make instructional resources such as take-home packs, activity sets, and other materials available to families to support their children’s education.

How School Specialty® Can Help

School Specialty has more than six decades of experience in providing tools, resources, and strategies that promote successful education both in school and at home. We offer arts and crafts, early childhood, ELA, math, science, STEM/STEAM, physical education, special needs, and social emotional learning resources for families, as well as games, puzzles, and general supplies.

How do you promote family engagement in your classroom and community? Let us know in the comments!





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Preteens and skincare: What parents should know – CHOC

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Published on: April 16, 2024
Last updated: April 9, 2024

Should teens and preteens be using so many skincare products with fancy ingredients? A pediatric dermatologist answers parents’ questions.

Link: https://health.choc.org/preteens-and-skincare-what-parents-should-know/



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Living With Crohn’s: My Daily Routine

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By Michelle Pickens, as told to Danny Bonvissuto

As early as I can remember, I’ve had issues with my health. When I was little, I had severe constipation, nausea, vomiting, and food sensitivities.

As I got older, those symptoms transitioned into diarrhea, irregular bowel movements, and pain. I was always very fatigued and my immune system was weak: The second someone in my class had the cold or flu, I’d get it, too. Looking back, it was a sign.

From a mental perspective, my anxiety was high. What if I need to find a bathroom? What if I’m nauseous? Doctors would say, “Oh, you’ll grow out of it. It’s just your anxiety.”

Finally, a Diagnosis

After years of misdiagnosis, I was finally diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in 2015. I was 23 and had just finished up college while working full time. My symptoms were getting worse. I had a lot of vomiting and pain. The fatigue was at the point where it was difficult for me to work or even get out of bed some days.

It was so bad it pushed me to seek additional care. I took a couple months off, looked for another job, and went through all the doctor appointments it took to get the diagnosis.

There’s no blood test for Crohn’s. No way to prove what you’re feeling. Eventually I saw the right doctor, who did a test with a pill camera called a small bowel capsule. (This is a pill-sized camera that you swallow, allowing doctors to see inside your digestive system.) It tracked my intestines and was able to get into a blind spot where neither a colonoscopy nor endoscopy can see inflammation. 

It was such a relief to get the diagnosis because it made me feel like I wasn’t crazy. For so many years I knew something was wrong and couldn’t name it. I also felt hopeful. Once I knew what I was dealing with, I knew I could work to get to a better place.

Sharing My Story

In 2016, I started a blog called Crohnically Blonde as an outlet to connect with people as I go through the stages of dealing with Crohn’s. When I first started to share, there weren’t as many people talking about it.

I’ve been able to form relationships in an online community through shared experiences. I hope someone can see my story and feel that, if they’re at the beginning of their journey, there’s a way to get through.

Managing My Medication

At first, I was on a lot of medication that wasn’t working well and was a huge imposition on my schedule. Now I get infusions of an immunosuppressive drug every 7 weeks.

It means being away from my family and job for 4-5 hours, and managing child-care coverage during the treatment and the weekend after, because I feel almost flu-like. The extra help allows me to rest and fuel back up after the treatment.

I have the option to be on more medications to control my symptoms. But I try to shy away from those and manage it on my own because I don’t want to be on medicine for every single thing.

Before I had my son, I was more willing to try different medications. But while I was pregnant, I could barely be on any of the Crohn’s medicines. After I had him, it didn’t make sense to be reliant on them.

Crohn’s, Pregnancy, and Motherhood

Crohn’s affected me throughout my pregnancy. I got very sick in my third trimester because I went off my immunosuppressive drug to avoid passing any on to the baby. I ended up having to be induced early so I could get back on the medication as soon as possible.

My son, Maddox, is 1 now. Crohn’s changed my expectation of what I thought motherhood would be.

I’ve learned that I’d rather be present and able to enjoy him in the good moments than push it when I’m sick. It’s been difficult. But if I’m not well, I can’t be there for my child. I try to be with him as much as I can, but there are times when I need to step back and take an hourlong nap.

I have a great support system: My husband, mom, or mother-in-law can step in and help out for a little while, and when I feel better, I can be a better mom. There are also days when I don’t have accessible help. In those situations, I’ll do lower-key activities that I can enjoy with him but that aren’t physically demanding on me.

Schedule and Adjust

Right now I’m in a pretty good spot. I work from home now, as a recruiter for a tech company, and that makes a huge difference. A lot of my anxiety in the past was around being in an office and being sick. Now that I can work remotely, it’s such a game changer.

But Crohn’s still affects my day-to-day. I have days where I’m feeling sick, and need to rest and change my plans so I’m home and not out somewhere.

No matter how planned-out I have my day or week, if I’m not feeling well that takes precedence. I like to be a very scheduled person. But I have to roll with the punches and have a plan B.

The biggest challenge is managing my sleep and stress. They’re both very influential in symptom flare-ups. I have to get at least 8 hours of sleep, no matter what. And I try to incorporate time to de-stress, like reading a book or relaxing at the end of the day.

Going to therapy helps offset stress as well, and is now part of my ingrained self-care schedule.

Social Life Strategies

My co-workers, family, and friends are very understanding. But that wasn’t the case at first. The more open I’ve been about Crohn’s, the more people understand that I’m not flaking out if I have to change plans; there’s an underlying reason.

I only have a certain amount of energy, so now I pick and choose. I know I need to work and be with my family, which means I have less energy to put into social situations.

I plan out what I’m comfortable doing, but have also become comfortable with changing plans. Even if I’m excited to go out to dinner with a friend, I don’t push it if I feel terrible that day.

Food in Flux

I’ve followed a gluten-free diet for years. I started with an elimination diet and realized that gluten was bothering me.

Other foods aren’t as black and white. I can eat a salad one day and it’s fine, and eat the same salad the next day and it makes me sick. I repeat the safe foods that don’t make me sick and stick to a general schedule of three meals a day that are pretty much all gluten free.

Sometimes the timing matters: I’ll wake up and feel nauseated and need a starchy food like dry cereal. If I’m going on a road trip, or have a big event, like a wedding, I plan it out and try to be careful about what I eat leading up to it because I don’t want to be sick. But it’s hard because you never really know. It’s kind of a gamble.

Flexibility Is Key

I’ve learned to be as flexible as possible. I never know what each day is going to bring, I just have to trust that my body is telling what it needs for that specific day. That’s my priority, and everything else can wait.

 



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