Health
Unsanctioned Racing Is the Most Fun You Can Have Running
Dave Hashim/ Ale Iaccarino
The ad didn’t offer much information. Just a black-and-white photo of a lone man running down the middle of a darkened street, a car at his heels, its headlights beaming. The link led to a registration page for something called the Midnight Half, an unsanctioned race held late on a Thursday night in May 2012. Entry was $20. I signed up immediately.
A few weeks later, I arrived at race central—a small, second-floor nightclub on the Lower East Side of Manhattan—dropped my bag upstairs, then took my place among roughly 70 runners on Chrystie Street below. Like my competitors, I had plotted my route ahead of time on MapMyRun. We were allowed to follow any course we wanted as long as we hit certain checkpoints. I determined it was impossible to complete the race in less than 13.1 miles, but I’d been running these streets for years. I hoped my familiarity would give me an edge.
To my right I recognized Lüc Carl, a bartender at St. Jerome’s, a dive bar not far from where we now stood. He looked more like a drummer of a heavy metal band. He dated Lady Gaga when she was still playing small rooms and working as a go-go dancer, and just published a book about pulling himself out of an overweight, drunken rut with pre-dawn runs. Nearly everyone else looked like the usual suspects you see in the first corral of a major road race: ropy, feather-light, focused.
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As rats scurried along the empty sidewalks, the race co-director, David Trimble, announced, “The race starts when I say ‘Go.’” I knew Trimble from the Red Hook Crit, a fixed-gear bicycle race he founded in 2008 as an unsanctioned circuit on the cobblestone streets of Red Hook, Brooklyn. In 2012, he added a 5K before the main event, and the furiously fast field helped me run a 10-second PR that March.
By then, the Crit was fully permitted and illuminated by floodlights, but it still felt vaguely illicit. Meanwhile, this race that drew me to Chrystie Street well past my bedtime felt free-wheeling, if not a little dangerous.
Related: Men’s Journal Partners With Alleycat Race Series Take the Bridge
Trimble said the word and we were off. Carl didn’t make it more than a block before he fell into a pothole. The rest of us charged on. As we came off the Manhattan Bridge into Brooklyn, the guys in front jumped a barricade and barreled down an unkept grassy incline to cut maybe 100 meters off the course. It was then that I realized I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. We hadn’t even gone two miles.
Some people got lost after that. A good number made it five, six, or eight miles before dropping out. Knox Robinson, founder of NYC’s Black Roses run club, took the win in 1:15, roughly five minutes slower than predicted. But with that inaugural Midnight Half, alleycat foot racing in New York was born.
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More than a decade later, it’s integral to running culture. Orchard Street Runners, which co-hosted the Midnight Half, has expanded to 10 races a year, including a 30ish-mile ultramarathon around the perimeter of Manhattan called the OSR30. The Speed Project, a 340-mile relay from Santa Monica to Las Vegas, celebrated its 10th anniversary last year. And Take the Bridge, which began in New York in 2015, now stages races in cities around the world in a similar format to the Midnight Half, wherein the start and checkpoint locations are kept secret until race day.
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Participants have called these races “pure,” “authentic,” “punk rock,” and “electric”—hardly the words we associate with their sanctioned counterparts. And speed alone doesn’t win the race; you have to know the streets. One friend told me recently that she loved ripping through Times Square at 1 a.m. in an OSR race, calling it “a true NYC experience.”
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Admittedly, unsanctioned races have taken some wrong turns. In September 2021, OSR set a checkpoint inside an IKEA and placed a photographer there to capture what they presumed would be a killer photo op for the ‘gram. And yes, the stunt played well on social media; but offline, it drew a lot of fire. In my circle, we talked about how alarming it must have been for IKEA workers and shoppers when a pack of barely clothed men stormed through the showrooms at a 5-minute-mile pace. The city may be our playground, but that doesn’t entitle us to be bad citizens.
In October 2021, I launched an unsanctioned race of my own. Having run Hood to Coast, a nearly 200-mile relay from Mt. Hood to Seaside, OR, every year since 2015, I wanted to bring the thrill of that race back to New York—albeit at a microdose. You can’t replicate running solo under a canopy of stars in rural Oregon, but you can tap into the unique joy of working as a team to accomplish something you’d never be able to do on your own.
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In keeping with the theme of a track series I’d founded in 2019 called East River 5000, I decided to make Beach to Brooklyn a 5x5K relay and mapped out a 15.5-mile course from the Rockaways in Queens to Brooklyn’s Prospect Park. Like the races above, we didn’t close streets, obtain permits, or get funding from big apparel brands or banks. It was about as DIY as it gets.
In April 2022, my partner on the East River series, Chris Forti, and I worked with Tim Rossi of the Lostboys to launch the East River Ekiden, a relay format that originated in 17th-century Japan. In our ekiden, teams of five run a total of 50K along the Brooklyn and Manhattan waterfronts, over three bridges, and through brownstone-lined neighborhoods to finish at Evil Twin Brewery in Queens, where we have a big after-party.
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When people ask me why I started East River 5000, I always say that I wanted to bring back the kind of events my dad raced in the ‘80s: small fields with quirky T-shirts designed by local artists that weren’t splashed with sponsors’ logos across the back. People just got together to race. It was an excuse to push themselves athletically, maybe make some new friends, and inhale pancakes afterwards. But I also hoped that if I created a race, others might follow suit, and before long the New York racing scene would be owned by the running community itself.
Ironically, the seeds for this were planted by New York Road Runners some 66 years ago. At its founding, in 1958, NYRR was a scrappy group of runners who wanted to make the sport accessible to everyone in the city and thereby counteract the racist and antisemitic policies of New York Athletic Club. Today, NYRR is run more like a corporation. Its fees have ballooned in the past 20 years, and too many of its races are run around the same predictable loop of Central Park. Unsanctioned racing allows us to break free from that monotony and create a circuit we want, in more of the places people like to run, and with communities that might not be served. The possibilities are limited only by our imaginations.
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No race embodies this spirit more than the unsanctioned 26.TRUE Marathon in Boston. Founded in 2021 and held two days before the Boston Marathon, the 26.TRUE aims to celebrate Boston’s diversity by taking runners through neighborhoods its organizers feel are overlooked during Boston Marathon weekend.
What’s more, the race is sponsored by Puma, a company that, for decades, has supported athletes who speak out for social justice. And in working with Puma, the organizers of 26.TRUE have done far more than create a race, they’ve made a statement.
I was one of those who dropped out of the inaugural Midnight Half. At some point around mile six, I started to question why I was hammering sub-6-minute miles on a dark street in Brooklyn. I was used to chasing lead vehicles, perfectly placed mile markers, and finish lines that made every race feel like an Olympic event. After my first Hood to Coast, I finally understood why the Midnight Half was so special.
Running isn’t only about PRs and negative splits, kudos on Strava, and mimicking the high-mileage weeks of pros. It’s also about breaking down barriers, making friends, and reclaiming agency from the corporations and brands that have tried to co-opt our sport for financial gain. With unsanctioned racing, we have the power. And if we’re lucky, we’ll experience something electric and pure—norms be damned.
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Dick’s Sporting Goods is in the midst of a major sale on running shoes from brands like Hoka, On, and Nike, with Brooks accounting for some of the retailer’s most appealing discounts. Styles like the Glycerin StealthFit and the Adrenaline GTS are on sale, but the one turning heads right now is the high-stack and ultra-cushioned Ghost Max—and it’s selling fast.
Right now,
Brooks Ghost Max Running Shoes in Black/Ebony, $102 (was $150) at Dick’s Sporting Goods
The Ghost Max takes all the best features of the traditional Ghost running shoe, like great breathability and ample under-foot support, and adds a super high-stack cushion that amplifies protection and shock absorption from surface textures. This is a huge upgrade for those with sensitive feet, as it decreases the pressure exerted on the foot, and the larger cushion also provides a wider base, which helps with stability. And, though this sneaker has a more level 6 mm heel-to-toe differential (half that of the normal Ghost), it uses a rocker bottom to help achieve a smooth, comfortable stride when walking.
The maximum cushion is an immediate standout for anyone who steps into these Brooks running shoes, especially those who have to stand a lot. “I’m not a runner, but stand on concrete all day,” a shopper began. “They are, by far, the most cushioned and comfortable shoes I’ve ever worn. I’ve tried Hoka, Asics, and Oofos, but the Ghost Max is my favorite. If you need cushion in your step, look no further.” Another shopper agreed, simply saying they were “super comfortable shoes” with “lots of support.”
Brooks Ghost Max Running Shoes in Cream, $102 (was $150) at Dick’s Sporting Goods
In some cases, shoppers are even switching from their Ghosts—the brand’s most popular sneaker—in favor of this model. “I have been a Brooks Ghost user for many years,” a shopper said. “Love the Ghost Max. Superior cushioning is the key. Being a larger runner of over 30 years (6-foot-3, 240 pounds) the extra cushioning is very much appreciated. The shoes fit perfectly and the ride is smooth. My knees, ankles, and thighs thank you!”
Whether you’re looking for the perfect walking shoe or some extra protection from a daily runner, it’s well worth trying the
Prices are accurate and items in stock at time of publishing.
By Nichole Sanchez Diaz, Sanja Kostov, Erin Bearss, Milena Forte
What comes to mind when you think of “Gen Z” (1996-2010)?
Anecdotally, it seems preceding generations (Boomers, Gen X, Millennials) have seen us as “digitally savvy yet too sensitive.” And while we cannot generalize an entire cohort, there’s truth that this is generating friction in medical education.
Raised in the digital age, Gen Z faces higher rates of mental health issues than its predecessors. This cohort also has a stronger desire to uphold principles of equity, diversity and inclusion (EDI) that can sometimes challenge traditional medical teachings, thus creating novel tensions between medical trainees and their educators.
Medical training is notoriously challenging, with responsibility and stress levels increasing with each passing year. It compares to the stress of starting a new job every few months while being the least informed contestant in a never-ending Jeopardy episode. When you add in the sleep deprivation that comes from working around the clock, it’s not surprising that training can negatively impact the mental health of medical learners. A 2018 Canadian Medical Association survey revealed alarming rates of burnout and depression among resident physicians; more recent studies point to this being an even bigger issue since the pandemic. Given that circumstances have made Gen Z appear to be even more psychologically vulnerable than previous generations, what measures have been implemented to ensure their collective success and are these measures sufficient?
In recent years, institutions have rolled out wellness programs and mental health services. These are steps in the right direction, but are often inaccessible to trainees , especially during residency. The unwritten expectation of self-sufficiency discourages trainees from openly discussing their mental health needs with educators, fearing they may be perceived as fragile or, worse, incompetent.
Recent studies reflect what Gen Z residents value in wellness strategies: clear communication and community building, particularly with their educators. Despite their digital upbringing, they crave in-person teaching and opportunities to develop deeper connections with their mentors.
Educators can play a pivotal role in dismantling the stigma surrounding mental health during medical training. By sharing their personal experiences and coping mechanisms, and promoting wellness resources, they can normalize discussions around mental health and burnout; topics with which many trainees struggle but are afraid to vocalize. An honest dialogue between mentor and mentee is a powerful tool for building mutual trust and can increase the chances of identifying and addressing mental health challenges before they escalate.
As an ethnically and socially diverse cohort, Gen Zs recognizes EDI as more than a buzzword.
Gen Z medical learners can also take steps, such as understanding their program’s purpose and expectations, establishing clear expectations with their educators, and identifying existing resources in advance. If they encounter challenges, they should investigate and access formal supports offered by their programs (e.g., accommodations or extensions to training) to avoid sacrificing their well-being.
As an ethnically and socially diverse cohort, Gen Zs recognizes EDI as more than a buzzword; it is an expectation of their future workplace. Their openness to embrace new perspectives combined with unparalleled access to information online makes them more likely to challenge long-standing practices.
For example, a preceptor commenting on the risks of high BMI can provoke discomfort in a student who believes it perpetuates fat-phobic attitudes, influenced by social media discussions about patient discomfort with weighing at medical visits. The emphasis on political correctness has made some physicians cautious when teaching, fearing a backlash. To remedy this, educators can practice listening to and understanding student perspectives, especially those discordant with their own. Using this as a teaching opportunity, faculty members can discuss evidence supporting their clinical practice and share personal experiences while simultaneously addressing gaps in their knowledge and updating outdated terminology.
Learners should feel empowered to challenge established medical practices, but they need to be cautious about forming their beliefs based on virtual discourse that can spread misinformation, particularly when they have limited clinical experience. Clinical educators can often contextualize and tailor available evidence to specific patient situations based on their medical expertise and a host of varied patient experiences. Embracing opportunities for humility and shared learning enables a safe learning environment that encourages curiosity and ensures training is rooted in evidence-based practice. While these are difficult conversations, they are vital because dismissing learner concerns only leads to mistrust.
Adapting medical education for Gen Z learners isn’t about coddling – it’s about evolution. This is a call for educators to acknowledge generational differences and be willing to gradually shift the hustle culture of medical training to foster a more supportive learning environment through respectful dialogue.
Gen Z respects authority but will learn best under mentors who encourage transparent discussions around mental health and social accountability in medicine. For students to fully benefit from their education, they must also clearly understand the expectations of their roles. By embracing innovation while upholding core values in medical education, we can shape students into resilient professionals who can thrive in today’s demanding health-care landscape.
—
Previously Published on healthydebate.ca with Creative Commons License
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When it comes to gay sex positions, pleasure isn’t one-size-fits-all. Men looking for fun and different sex positions should play around with unique missionary sex positions, 69 sex position variations, and even Amazon sex position to add excitement and novelty. Experimenting with lubes and sex toys for men (think prostate massagers, anal beads, and cock rings) will only enhance the best gay sex positions, so come to the bedroom with an open mind.
Like any sexual experience, gay sex is personal and there’s a lot of experimentation that can be done to understand your preferences and the preferences of your partner.
“Some men don’t understand what exactly turns them on,” says Finn Deerhart, AASECT-certified sexuality counselor, who works primarily with queer men. “They assume their turn-on is a causal result of the objects they desire or a set of conditions. However, when it comes to sexual arousal, and the deeply personal nature of that energy, it’s less about the specific objects and more about the implied sense of meaning a man derives from his sexual experiences.”
Below, Deerhart, alongside multiple sex experts, share a guide to the best gay sex positions for men that will offer inspiration to try something new, lean into what you like most, and connect with your mind-body connection to be a better lover.
1. Doggy Style
Katie Buckleitner
How to Do It
“This one is a staple for many gay men,” says Deerhart. The receiver kneels or stands facing away from the penetrator. With hips raised, the receiver takes the penetrator as deeply as they desire.
Why It Works
“The absence of eye contact is part of why men love doggy style,” says Deerhart. “They’re able to tap into their animal bodies while enjoying a degree of emotional opacity.” Removing direct eye contact can help lower inhibitions and encourage partners to be more present in the moment.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
|
Deeper penetration |
Can be too deep for the receiver, depending on capacity and depth |
|
Freedom of movement for the one thrusting |
|
|
Receiving partner can masturbate, if desired |
|
|
Lack of eye contact lowers inhibitions |
Pro Tip
Go slowly and use plenty of lube. We recommend Boy Butter. It’s a fan favorite among users because it’s long-lasting, easy to clean, and strikes a balance between the stickiness of water-based lubes and the greasiness of silicone. Its consistency starts like a lotion that melts into an oil as you work it between your hands. Just note this is not condom-compatible!
2. Spooning
Katie Buckleitner
How to Do It
The receiving partner lies on their side with their back toward their partner, while the penetrative partner applies lube and aligns their pelvis to the receiving partner’s butt to assume the “spooning” position. The receiving partner can arch their low back and extend their bottom leg long while bending the top one closer to their chest to create more space for the giver to rest their top leg over them and enter. “Because half of the body is being restricted by the bed, it can be difficult to make adjustments once started,” explains Dr. Rossana Sida, a licensed marriage and family therapist and AASECT-certified sex therapist in Los Angeles, CA.
Why It Works
“This is the best on a lazy morning where relaxation and intimacy are key,” says Sida. It doesn’t require acrobatics, plus the receiving partner can touch their partner or themselves, either masturbating or giving attention to erogenous zones to enhance arousal.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
|
Heightened intimacy between partners |
Difficult to find the right angle |
|
Low-energy position, perfect for morning sex |
Hard to get the leverage to thrust in and out |
|
Lots of skin-to-skin contact |
Pro Tip
The receiving partner can place a small sex wedge or pillow, like Foam Heart Sex Pillow, between their knees if both are tucked to maintain space and limit fatigue.
3. Missionary
Katie Buckleitner
How to Do It
The receiving partner lies on their back with legs butterflied open, while the giver lies on top and supports their body weight with their arms. The penetrative partner enters so they’re face-to-face. To modify this, the receiving partner can place their legs over the giver’s shoulders for more direct prostate stimulation.
Why It Works
Missionary is a classic position that offers a high degree of emotional connection due to the direct eye contact, says Deerhart. You get feedback in real time and can read each other’s facial expressions.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
|
Promotes a heightened sense of connection due to eye contact |
Can be overwhelming sometimes for men who would prefer to be less emotionally seen |
|
Can read facial expressions for real-time feedback |
Can be physically demanding for the penetrator who has to hold their upper body—or the receiver’s legs—up |
|
Provides direct angle for prostate stimulation |
Pro Tip
Use a sex wedge to elevate the bottom partner’s hips. We like Liberator Wedge Intimate Sex Positioning Pillow. The 27-degree angle is the ideal pitch for deeper penetration and stimulation.
4. Standing (Bodyguard)
Katie Buckleitner
How to Do It
The receiving partner stands with knees slightly bent for stability, facing away from their partner. They can stand in front of a wall and support their body weight with their hands or stand before a bed and brace their weight by kneeling one leg on it (shown). If kneeling one leg, the receiving partner can lean forward slightly and reach behind and grab their partner’s hips or thighs for greater balance. “While adequately lubricated, the penetrative partner will insert their penis, being mindful of their partner’s comfort,” says Sida. The giver should tilt their pelvis up and choose between a more sensual or vigorous rhythm of movement. Whichever feels best, both partners will need to move their hips in sync with each thrust.
Why It Works
This is an easy anal sex position to bring role play into your repertoire. Also known as “bodyguard” position due to the restraining nature of the position, you and your partner can play with domination. Moreover, the receiver can additionally masturbate while receiving anal if standing in front of a wall for balance.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
|
Allows for spontaneity as standing means you can have sex in the kitchen, home office, or shower |
Both partners need to have good balance |
|
May be too physically demanding for an entire sexual experience, but it can start things off |
Pro Tip
Have the penetrative partner insert a vibrating butt plug like Lovehoney Butt Tingler 10 Function Vibrating Butt Plug. It’s great for intermediate users what with its four-inch length and flared base. The bulb houses a removable bullet vibrator that has three vibration speeds and seven patterns to find the right sensation.
5. Rusty Trombone
Katie Buckleitner
How to Do It
The receiving partner stands with legs slightly apart, while the giving partner kneels behind them, performing analingus (aka rimming) while simultaneously providing a hand job. The position vaguely resembles playing a trombone. For the giver, it requires plenty of coordination between the hand and mouth.
Why It Works
This is a multifaceted experience for the receiver, as it combines oral and manual stimulation for intense pleasure, says Bedbible.com sex educator Kasia Halinowska.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
|
Provides dual stimulation as a rim job and hand job |
Requires flexibility and balance |
|
Difficulty to master coordination for giver |
Pro Tip
Get in the shower together beforehand and get really clean. This will put both of you at ease if you’re starting with optimal hygiene. Our favorite unscented body wash is Nécessaire Fragrance-Free The Body Wash.
6. Legs Up
Katie Buckleitner
How to Do It
The receiving partner lies on their back with legs up so the penetrative partner can kneel, place their hands on either side of them, and slowly ease in. The receiving partner can lift their hips and rest their calves against the penetrative partner’s shoulders, which allows for deeper penetration, as well as greater support.
Why It Works
The receiving partner won’t get fatigued having to hold their legs up on their own, and this face-to-face positioning helps “maintain eye contact for intimacy,” says Halinowska.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
|
Promotes deep connection with face-to-face contact |
Might not allow for very deep penetration |
Pro Tip
Try a hybrid lube that comprises water and silicone, like Hello Cake Tush Cush, for greater comfort and longevity. It won’t dry out as quickly as other lubes and helps prevent tearing.
7. Back It In
Katie Buckleitner
How to Do It
The giving partner sits in a chair with knees to chest, torso angled back in a reclined position. Use pillows to provide the proper support and get the angle right. The receiving partner backs into the position and lowers onto their partner’s penis. The receiving partner should use their legs to lower up and down.
Why It’s Great
This is a position for those chasing novelty—who want a change of pace, says Halinowska.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
|
allows for control over depth of penetration |
can be a bit awkward to get into position initially |
|
difficult for giving partner to keep legs elevated without support |
|
8. Helicopter
Katie Buckleitner
How to Do It
The receiving partner gets on hands and knees, then lowers down to their forearms, to start. The penetrative partner does a down dog over them, head positioned by the receiving partner’s feet, and aligns their pelvis with the receiving partner’s anus. The giver penetrates their partner as they lift their legs to create a helicopter shape. The penetrative partner will keep their pelvis on the receiving partner’s butt, using their arms to support their body (think pushup position), explains Halinowska.
Why It’s Great
You won’t get deep penetration, but due to the downward angle of the penetrative partner’s penis, it stimulates the head. Helicopter is fun and challenging, bringing a bit of spontaneity to your sex life if things have felt ho-hum
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
|
adds novelty to sex |
penetrating partner must have a strong upper body to maintain |
|
provides unique entry and stimulates the head of the penis |
difficult to maintain balance and find rhythm |
9. Cliff Diver
Katie Buckleitner
How It Works
The receiving partner gets on all fours while the giving partner helps lifts their legs off the ground, one at a time, wrapping them around their waist for more control and support. The penetrative partner then inserts their penis and holds onto the receiving partner’s hips.
Why It’s Great
It’s a little more advanced, but for those looking to experiment with standing sex positions, this can create a strong prostate orgasm.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
|
Exciting and adventurous for couples |
Requires strength and coordination |
|
Provides intense stimulation |
Not suitable for all fitness levels |
|
Can be scaled to a chair to limit the load on the receiving partner’s arms |
10. Pirates Booty
Katie Buckleitner
How to Do It
“This is a twist on missionary position that allows for deeper penetration,” prefaces Searah Deysach, sex educator and owner of Early to Bed. The receiving partner lies on their back with one leg down and the other leg in the air. The penetrative partner straddles the planted leg, slides in, then rests the receiving partner’s extended leg on their shoulder. “This allows the giver easy access and a great view,” says Deysach.
Why It Works
Pirate’s booty is for couples looking for a missionary sex position variation that’s outside the norm. It allows for deep penetration.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
|
Both parties can kiss and cuddle while in this position |
Receiver needs to have good hip flexibility |
|
Receiver can stimulate his penis easily (and the giver can help if they don’t need both arms to balance) |
Lifting just one leg can cause the pelvis to tilt, which might make the penetrator hit the side of the pelvic bone |
|
Communication is easier when looking at each other |
Pro Tip
Lifting just one leg can cause the pelvis to tilt, which might make the top hit the side of the pelvic bone. To avoid this, you might have to lift both legs to keep the pelvis level.
11. London Bridge
Katie Buckleitner
How to Do It
The penetrative partner lies on their back, feet flat, knees bent. The receiving partner backs on top of the penetrative partner, between their legs, easing onto their partner’s penis while facing away. “It’s a reverse insertion position,” says sex educator, Goody Howard. “The rider can grind down, lift their hips, dance, squeeze their sphincter muscles for mutual pleasure, and put their hands on their partner’s knees for stability and leverage,” says Howard. “For even more leverage, the rider can “lower the bridge” even further and put their elbows on the bed (or floor).”
Why It Works
This position is actually the great equalizer for couples who may have larger height and weight differences. It also perfectly aligns the penis and anus and is less taxing than other non-traditional positions.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
|
Low impact on the knees and back |
Rider needs to be careful when leaning down. It’s important to finesse and smoothly transition from upright to leaning on elbows |
|
Great for genital alignment, so big height differences don’t matter as much |
|
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Good for plus-size couples |
|
|
Increases sensitivity for the person being ridden |
Pro Tip
To ensure you don’t have to stop before the climax to add more lube, try Lelo F1L. The long-lasting, water-based lubricant is hypoallergenic and unscented.
12. 69
Katie Buckleitner
How to Do It
Both partners lie in opposite directions: one partner’s head on the other’s cock and vice versa, sucking each other at the same time. “This position is great for Sides, men who love sex with men but don’t enjoy anal sex,” says Deerhart. “The 69 sex position makes it possible for each to relax into mutual receptivity since both are receiving oral at the same time.”
Why It Works
“The magic of 69 is it releases each man from any pre-existing, prescribed roles and allows each to stay focused on the pleasure of giving and receiving without a fixed context,” adds Deerhart. Plus, the partner on bottom can give a rim job or a blow job.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
|
Heightens the odds of mutual orgasm |
Some partners can get overwhelmed and lose the ability to stay focused on their own pleasure |
|
No set “roles” for partners |
Related: The Best Nipple Clamps of 2024 for Maximum Pleasure
13. Lotus
Katie Buckleitner
How to Do It
Lotus is a tantric sex position. To get into it, the bottom (penetrative) partner sits cross-legged, torso upright, then the receiving partner straddles them so they’re face-to-face. The top partner can also cross their ankles or have feet touch, says Halinowska, and both partners can wrap their arms around each other. This is more of a rocking position, with the top partner controlling the speed and rhythm. To help counterbalance, the bottom partner can lean their hands back for greater support and leverage.
Why It Works
Lotus is an incredibly intimate position, as it encourages and maintains eye contact between partners.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
|
Promotes full-body, sensual contact, and deep connection |
Might not be ideal for extended periods due to the seated position’s strain on hip flexors |
|
Hands are free to roam |
14. Squatter’s Rights
Katie Buckleitner
How to Do It
This reverse face sitting position flips the script and puts the emphasis on analingus. The receiving partner hovers their body over the giver’s mouth, taking care not to put too much body weight on their face. The receiver can use their legs to brace their weight and place their hands on their partner’s chest for balance, explains Halinowska.
Why It Works
This is a playful take on oral sex that also hedges into dominance and submission, as the receiving partner has the control.
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
|
Concentrated oral stimulation for receiver |
Might get uncomfortable for the giver’s neck |
Pro Tip
Use a wedge like Liberator Flip Ramp under the giver’s head for greater neck support.
15. Cowboy
Katie Buckleitner 
How to Do It
The receiver lies down on their back, and the receiver, facing him, eases down on the penetrator’s penis and bucks at the rate that feels good to him. “This position is great for receivers who want more control over the experience,” advises Deerhart.
Why It Works
“The receiver gets to decide how deep, fast, and intense the thrusting goes,” says Deerhart. “So they’re more likely to open up and freely enjoy being penetrated.”
| Pros | Cons |
|---|---|
|
The receiver can decide duration and intensity. |
This position can sometimes cause a penetrator to lose their hard-on since the flow of gravity naturally pulls blood downward in the erection. |
|
Some guys who penetrate in this position may feel too restricted, since the receiver is sitting on top of their body and taking charge. |
Meet the Experts
- Finn Deerhart, AASECT-certified sexuality counselor
- Dr. Rossana Sida, licensed marriage and family therapist and AASECT-certified sex therapist in Los Angeles, CA
- Kasia Halinowska, Bedbible.com sex educator
- Searah Deysach, sex educator and owner of Early to Bed
- Goody Howard, sex educator
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