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Is technology a friend or foe for children’s development?

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Exploring how technology influences young people

Most parents are technology immigrants.  Children are technology natives.

These phrases came to light when we became foster parents and were trying to help our foster son navigate his way through technology.

He had come to us at the age of 12 and we were swithering whether we should give him a mobile phone.

In his first week of high school, all the students were told to “take out your phones and photograph your homework”.  Needless to say, it was only one other child and my foster son who were left scribbling down the homework as the bell rang for the next class.

Time has moved on and each young person now has a school iPad so (thankfully) that situation won’t happen again.  But is technology a friend or foe for our child’s development?

Emotional attachment to the internet

Back in 2012, a study involving 1,000 children revealed some surprising insights:

  • 49% of British kids under 12 would be sad without internet access.
  • 1 in 5 would feel lonely without it.

Here are some other eye-opening results:

  • 70% of teenagers chat on Facebook.
  • Two-year-olds often dominate the family iPad.
  • Children perform more daily tasks online than adults.

(source: British Children Feel Sad without the Internet – The Telegraph’)

Technology now significantly influences how children interact, communicate, and form friendships. While I enjoy using technology, I balance it with other (non-tech) activities. This article made me uneasy about children’s emotional dependencey upon the internet.

Reflecting on Our Own Internet Use

Would I be upset without technology? Not really. It would be both challenging and liberating. But the strong emotional attachment kids have to the internet and technology raises important questions: How often do they use it? How does it affect their relationships with family, friends, and the world? Where does their emotional energy go?

The Real World vs. The Digital World

When kids spend extended periods in front of screens, they connect mainly with the digital world. This could hinder their emotional connections with real people, limiting them to interactions through screens.  The pros are that children can widen their friends circle using technology, yet in this research, The Pew Research Centre found 26% of interviewed young people confirm they have fallen out with a friend due to something that has happened online.

Technology as a Lifeline During Lockdowns

During the COVID-19 lockdowns, technology played a crucial role in keeping people connected. With social distancing measures in place, the internet became a lifeline for maintaining relationships, working from home, and accessing education. Video calls, social media, and online communities helped bridge the gap created by physical separation, highlighting the internet’s essential role in our lives.

However, this increased reliance on technology also underscored the lack of human connection with other children that influenced the mental and emotional development of young people.

“”My five year old daughter is an only child and she has been badly affected by lack of socialising with other children since lockdown. She is far less cheerful and motivated than she was before this isolation. She especially looks for video games with other children to watch or pretend, which she used not to do. Her sleep has also become disturbed.”

Save the Children Report

Balancing Screen Time and Real-Life Interactions

As adults, it’s easy to get lost in the internet too. My husband and I both work from home, and we sometimes message each other about simple, home-life things. But we do embrace other forms of communication – connecting in person during meals and dog walks. It’s all about balance.

Connecting Through Everyday Life

Connecting with kids through everyday life is essential. We can talk at dinner, sharing the highs and lows of our day; creating meaningful discussions around the table.

We can also choose to walk instead of drive, exploring nature together and engaging kids in observing and describing their surroundings (or if we do have to drive most days, then take some time out of the schedule to go into a place where there is grass, trees, waves, birds singing – eg nature).

It feels easier to let everyone sit on their phones around the dinner table, and sometimes our discussions do lead one of us to look up a fact (online) in order to prove an argument!

But ideally you could make an agreement with the family of ‘no phones at the table’ (including the adults) – otherwise how will young people develop the non-digital art of communication skills if we don’t model this through our behaviour?

Simple Moments for Deep Connections

If you are driving somewhere, use this time to listen and ask them about their lives.  Ask them to put phones away as you are happy to spend time with them – this can bring interesting conversations and discoveries you would never have realised otherwise.

Simple meditation can foster deep connections too. We can use technology to help us stay connected (ironic I know).

I find that young people don’t always want to practice mindful skills directly with me, and prefer to receive a recording of a meditation I created for them – this works well!

Or if you don’t want to use tech like this, then listen (together) to a mindful practice and then discuss how it made you feel – what you liked (or not) about the practice.  These moments are powerful opportunities to reset their energy (and yours).

The Importance of Heartfelt Interactions

Taking a few moments each day to connect with our children meaningfully ensures they won’t feel sad if the internet disappears. These small, heartfelt interactions help them understand that real-world connections matter too.

Learn how to share meditation with your children

Meditation recordings for adults & children  

Course for parents/carers  

 

 



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Cafe Rio Shredded Chicken (Copycat)

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Our version of Cafe Rio Shredded Chicken is slow-cooked to perfection with a blend of savory spices perfect for a salad, burrito, quesadilla or enchiladas!

a bowl of shredded chicken with spices like the version at cafe rio restaurant shredded  chicken in a bowl with spices and a salad in the background

Crockpot Shredded Chicken

Crockpot or slow cooker shredded chicken is an absolute game-changer for busy families and meal preppers alike! It’s super convenient—you just toss the chicken in the crockpot with some delicious seasonings and let it cook low and slow while you go about your day. By the time dinner rolls around, you’ve got perfectly tender, juicy chicken that practically shreds itself.

It’s incredibly versatile, too! Use it for tacos, salads, quesadillas, wraps, burritos—the possibilities are endless. If you meal prep, this chicken is great to portion and keep in the fridge for up to 5 days. It also freezes really well and can be frozen for up to 3 months!

This recipe is inspired by one of our favorite local favorite restaurants – Cafe Rio! The seasonings on the chicken give it SO much flavor and it always turns out super moist. You have got to give it a try!

overhead view of cafe rio shredded chicken  recipe in a black bowl

Ingredients for Cafe Rio Shredded Chicken

  • Boneless Skinless Chicken. A lot of people want to know what cut of chicken is best for shredding. Boneless skinless chicken breasts and thighs are your best bet. Chicken breasts are leaner and shred easily, making them perfect for lighter dishes like salads and wraps. Chicken thighs are slightly fattier, giving a richer, juicier shredded chicken that’s fantastic for tacos, casseroles, and hearty soups. Both cuts cook beautifully in the crockpot, and so it really is just your preference!
  • White Vinegar. The acidity of the vinegar helps to break down the chicken fibers, making the meat extra tender and juicy. It also adds a subtle tanginess that brightens up the overall flavor profile of the chicken without overpowering the other ingredients.
  • Zesty Italian Dressing (dry). This seasoning mix is packed with herbs, spices, and a tangy kick that permeates the chicken as it cooks, creating a savory, well-seasoned dish. The combination of garlic, onion, red pepper flakes, and Italian herbs like oregano and basil gives the chicken a complex and delicious taste that can elevate simple shredded chicken into something extraordinary. It’s a convenient, all-in-one seasoning that saves you time from measuring out all of the ingredients!
  • Dry Ranch Dressing Mix. Ranch dressing mix combines the flavors of buttermilk, garlic, onion, dill, and parsley that adds a creamy, herby flavor that everyone loves.
ingredients to make cafe rio shredded chicken  recipe

How to Make Crockpot Shredded Chicken Cafe Rio Style

There are just 3 simple steps to make this chicken!

  1. In a medium mixing bowl, mix vinegar, oil, zesty Italian seasoning packet, chili powder, cumin, and dry ranch seasoning.
  2. Spray the inside of your slow cooker with cooking spray and then add the chicken. Pour the dressing mixture over the top.
  3. Cover and cook on high for 4 hours. When it is done, shred the chicken with a fork.
4 steps for making cafe rio shredded chicken in the crock pot

Tips for Shredding Chicken

An easy hack for shredding chicken is to cool the chicken slightly after it is cooked. Put the chicken into a large bowl or the bowl of a stand mixer. Use a hand mixer or stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment to shred the chicken. Start on low speed and gradually increase to medium-high speed. The chicken will shred quickly and evenly within a minute or two!

If you are wondering whether it is better to shred meat when its hot or cold, the answer is that its best to do it when its warm. It is harder to handle it while it’s scorching hot, but it doesn’t shred as easily when its cold. Allow it to cool slightly until it’s comfortable to handle, then proceed with shredding for best results.

cafe rio shredded  chicken in a bowl with spices and a salad in the background

How to Make Cafe Rio Salad with Chicken

We love this chicken for lots of recipes, but our very favorite is Cafe Rio Salad! We like to layer:

Then layer:

  • Lettuce
  • Pico or salsa
  • Guacamole
  • Cotja Cheese
  • Cilantro Ranch Dressing
  • Lime
  • Tortilla Strips
  • Fresh cilantro

Such a filling and delicious meal! Every time I make this, everyone in my family loves it!

Recipes We Love Adding This Chicken To

Cafe Rio Shredded Chicken Copycat

Our version of Cafe Rio Shredded Chicken is slow-cooked to perfection with a blend of savory spices perfect for a salad, burrito, quesadilla or enchiladas!

Prep Time10 minutes

Cook Time4 hours

Total Time4 hours 10 minutes

Course: dinner

Cuisine: Mexican

Servings: 8 people

Calories: 206kcal

  • In a medium mixing bowl, mix vinegar, oil, zesty Italian seasoning packet, chili powder, cumin, and dry ranch seasoning.

  • Spray the inside of your slow cooker with cooking spray and then add the chicken. Pour the dressing mixture over the top.

  • Cover and cook on high for 4 hours (frozen chicken) or 2 1/2 – 3 hours (fresh chicken) When it is done, shred the chicken with a fork. Serve Cafe Rio style with a freshly cooked tortilla, chopped lettuce, beans, cilantro lime rice, pico de gallo, tortilla strips and cilantro lime dressing. Enjoy!

Calories: 206kcal | Carbohydrates: 3g | Protein: 24g | Fat: 10g | Saturated Fat: 1g | Polyunsaturated Fat: 2g | Monounsaturated Fat: 5g | Trans Fat: 0.04g | Cholesterol: 73mg | Sodium: 435mg | Potassium: 436mg | Fiber: 0.2g | Sugar: 0.05g | Vitamin A: 187IU | Vitamin C: 1mg | Calcium: 11mg | Iron: 1mg

Keyword : Cafe Rio Shredded Chicken

www.superhealthykids.com

Natalie Monson

I’m a registered dietitian, mom of 4, avid lover of food and strong promoter of healthy habits. Here you will find lots of delicious recipes full of fruits and veggies, tips for getting your kids to eat better and become intuitive eaters and lots of resources for feeding your family.

Learn More about Natalie



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Zucchini Baby Food Puree | The Picky Eater

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This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Please read my disclosure.

Perfect for busy parents looking to make their own baby food, my easy zucchini baby food with apples and carrots is a delicious combination your baby will love! Both zucchini and carrots are sweeter veggies, and when paired with apples, it turns a simple zucchini puree into a healthy sweet treat for your little one.

Zucchini baby food puree in a glass jar with a spoon.

Veggies mixed with fruit are always a hit in my household, and this zucchini carrot and apple puree is a favorite. When my kids were young, I used to mix this zucchini baby food with their oatmeal in the morning and they loved it!

While you can easily take zucchini and make a one ingredient puree, I always loved experimenting with different zucchini combination baby food to see what my baby enjoyed most. I find that mixing it with a couple of other fruits and veggies makes babies love it even more!

So if you haven’t tried making a zucchini carrot puree for your little one, my simple recipe is easy to prepare, nutritious, and delicious. I guarantee you will have one happy baby after giving them this smooth puree!

My zucchini baby food recipe is a great first food! Babies can enjoy zucchini as young as 6 months old when they begin to try other solid foods (source). I gave my kids this courgette baby puree when they were both 6 months old, and they totally loved it!

Baby food recipes with zucchini are packed with vitamins and minerals. Zucchini is a great source of beta-carotene, which converts to vitamin A, supporting the immune system and improving eyesight. Additionally, it’s rich in vitamin C, aiding in iron absorption, which is crucial as babies begin to lose iron around 5 months old. It also contains vitamin B6, essential for brain development (source).

My zucchini and carrot puree for baby is not only healthy but also delicious. It combines the natural sweetness of fresh zucchini, carrots, and apples, creating a flavor that your little one will love with every spoonful.

I’ve also found that using zucchini can be of the best stage 1 baby food recipes because it’s so mild and typically not on the list of common food allergies.

Plus, it’s the most versatile and easiest baby food zucchini recipe ever! You don’t need any fancy equipment or expensive ingredients to make this – just a pot and a blender or potato masher and you’re all set.

My zucchini puree is a simple baby food recipe you can use in a variety of ways – it’s super customizable based on your baby’s needs and preferences.

Not only that, but baby food with zucchini keeps well in the fridge and freezer! My recipe makes 16 servings, so I would often make it in big batches to have on hand, making meal planning for my kids much easier and more efficient!

Latest Recipe Video!

🥘 Ingredients

My homemade baby puree with zucchini is ready in minutes with minimal effort. All you need is a handful of simple ingredients and a good blender! Scroll down to the recipe card at the bottom of the post for more details.

Ingredients for zucchini baby food recipe on a white background.

Organic Zucchini: This mild flavored veggie forms the base of my zucchini carrot baby food! I prefer to use the smaller, skinnier zucchini for baby food because they have fewer seeds. You could also make this recipe with yellow squash or summer squash if you don’t have zucchini.

Organic Carrots: They add sweetness and a smooth texture to the puree. You can use either large carrots or baby carrots.

Organic Fuji Apples: I love using Fuji apples for their sweet and crisp flavor. They are excellent for baby food puree as they easily cook down and add natural sweetness.

Water: You need liquid to help the fruits and veggies cook down. I use 12 ounces of water so that the puree ends up with a smooth and easy-to-consume consistency.

🔪 How To Make Zucchini Baby Food

Learning how to puree zucchini for baby food is really easy! It only takes a few simple steps and the blender does all the hard work for you.

Watch my video below to see the step-by-step process of making zucchini puree for baby.

Prep Your Ingredients: To begin I wash all the produce. Then I cut the zucchini in half lengthwise and cut each half into 8 pieces. Next, I peel the carrots, cut them in half lengthwise, and then cut each half into 8 pieces. For the apples, I cut them in half, remove the seeds and stem, and cut each half into 8 pieces.

Cook The Produce: In a large pot, I add the carrots and water. Then I turn the heat to high and cook for 8 minutes, stirring occasionally. Next, I add the zucchini and apples and cook for another 3-5 minutes.

zucchini apples and carrots in a pot

Puree The Mixture: When done I pour the cooked produce and water into a blender. Then I blend everything until smooth or the desired consistency.

puree in blender

Serve or Store: After blending, if I’m not serving the pureeright away or using it all within a week, I pour it into ice cube trays. Then I let it cool, wrap or cover the trays, and put them in the freezer. 

Note: Thaw in the fridge the night before use, or thaw by putting the small cubes in a bowl over a bowl of hot water on the counter to defrost.

Zucchini Baby Food Puree in ice cube trays

My #1 Secret Tip or making my zucchini baby food is to use a high-speed blender, not a food processor. A high-speed blender will pulverize all the ingredients into a super smooth consistency. A food processor might leave the puree slightly chunky or grainy.

Other Tips To Keep In Mind:

  • Use Organic Produce If You Can: When making your own homemade baby food recipes, I highly recommend using organic produce to reduce pesticide exposure for your baby. No matter how thoroughly you wash your fruits and vegetables, there will still be some pesticide residue (source).
  • Proper Storage: Before using the zucchini, make sure it’s completely dry. Then place them in a paper bag and store them in the vegetable drawer of your fridge. Don’t put them in a plastic bag – it will cause your courgette to become slimy.
  • Steaming Option: Instead of boiling, you can also use a steamer basket or slow cooker. To steam zucchini for baby food first dice everything into small chunks. Next, bring 1 inch of water to boil in a pot with a steamer basket, add the produce, cover, and steam for 5 minutes until soft. Then put the steamed zucchini and veggies into a blender with a little water and puree. 
  • Speed Up Cooking: For quicker cooking time, cut the vegetables and fruit into small pieces to help them cook down more quickly.
  • First-Time Feeding: If this is your first time serving zucchini to your baby, monitor for any allergic reactions over the first 1-3 days. Once you confirm there are no allergies, you can start mixing zucchini with other purees.

✔️ How To Choose Zucchini

Zucchini, also known as courgette in some countries, is the exact same vegetable. When selecting zucchini, you want to look for vibrant, bright green ones that are firm and free of bruises or blemishes.

Size is important too. I prefer smaller, skinnier zucchini for baby food because they have fewer seeds in the center. Choose small to medium-sized zucchini, as they have less water content and more flavor compared to larger ones. Larger zucchinis tend to be watery, less flavorful, and full of seeds.

📖 Variations

One of the best things about this recipe is how customizable it is. When creating your own variations choosing what to mix with zucchini for baby food is fun. Here are some of my favorite zucchini baby food combinations:

Use Different Veggies: This is just a short list of some other vegetables that would taste great with my zucchini puree.

Change The Fruit: Use a different type of apple in this delicious puree, or add one of these other fruits for a fun way to change things up!

Add Spices Or Herbs: All zucchini puree combinations for baby are delicious with the addition of herbs and spices such as basil, thyme, rosemary, parsley, garlic, or lemon. If you want a sweeter flavor, try a pinch of cinnamon or nutmeg. It’s a great way to expose babies to new flavors. 

Add Breast Milk or Formula: When considering what to mix zucchini with for baby, it can be as simple as just mixing in some breast milk or organic baby formula to thin out the consistency of the puree right before serving. Do not add breastmilk or formula before freezing the baby food as formula is not meant to be frozen, and breastmilk has a different shelf life in the freezer.

Make A Single Ingredient Puree: If you don’t have everything on hand to make carrot zucchini and apple puree, no problem! You can make plain zucchini puree! Just add the zucchini and a few tablespoons of water to a pot, boil, and then puree. Keep in mind that zucchini has a lot of water, so if you don’t add the carrots and apples, you may need less water.

Make Baby Finger Foods: Turn my courgette puree for baby recipe into finger food instead. For older babies, or babies who are using baby led weaning foods, you can cut the zucchini into match-sized sticks, and roast them in the oven with a little bit of olive oil. They turn into zucchini “fries” and are a great way for your baby to experiment with gumming soft foods.

🧊 Storage Directions

Fridge: If you plan to use the entire batch of zucchini baby puree within a week, I recommend just transferring it to an airtight container and storing it in the refrigerator. Simply scoop out individual servings as needed. 

Freezer: For longer storage, pour the cooled puree into ice cube trays, cover, and freeze until solid. Once frozen, I always transfer the cubes to a ziplock freezer bag and label it with the date. The cubes can be stored in the freezer for up to 3 months. 

Thawing: To thaw, I normally place the desired number of cubes in the fridge overnight. Alternatively, for quicker thawing, you can place the cubes in a bowl over another bowl of hot water on the counter. 

Reheating: Gently warm the thawed puree in a saucepan over low heat or in a microwave-safe dish in the microwave. Stir well and test the temperature before serving to ensure it’s not too hot for your baby.

❓Recipe FAQs

Can babies eat raw zucchini?

No, do not give your baby raw zucchini. They cannot mash it with their gums, and the small pieces can be a choking hazard.

Do I need to remove the seeds? Can babies eat zucchini seeds?

You don’t need to remove the seeds – it is fine for baby to eat zucchini seeds when they are pureed with the rest of the zucchini.

Should I peel zucchini for baby food?

You might be wondering whether you need to peel the zucchini skin before cooking it. The answer is no – you definitely don’t need to peel the zucchini. The zucchini skin has a ton of nutrients and becomes super soft when cooked, which means it’s ideal for pureeing.

Zucchini baby food served in a glass jar with a spoon.

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📋 Recipe Card

Zucchini Baby Food Puree

My zucchini baby food puree with apples and carrots is a delicious combination your baby will enjoy! Zucchini and carrots are on the sweeter side in the vegetable category, and when paired with apples it becomes a healthy sweet treat for your little one!

Prep Time10 minutes

Cook Time20 minutes

Total Time30 minutes

Course: Baby Food

Cuisine: American

Diet: Gluten Free, Low Calorie, Vegan, Vegetarian

Servings: 16 ounces

Calories: 22kcal

Shop Ingredients on Jupiter

  • Store zucchini in a paper bag in the fridge to keep fresh.
  • If you don’t want to boil everything in a pot, you can also use a steamer basket or slow cooker to cook down the vegetables and fruit.
  • Cut the vegetables and fruit into small pieces to help them cook down more quickly.
  • If you plan to use this entire batch of zucchini baby food within 1 week, you can transfer the entire puree into one airtight container and place it in the fridge. Then, just scoop out individual servings when you’re ready to feed your baby.
  • 1 ice cube = 1 oz of food

Adapted from BabyLove

Calories: 22kcal | Carbohydrates: 5g | Protein: 1g | Fat: 1g | Saturated Fat: 1g | Sodium: 13mg | Potassium: 144mg | Fiber: 1g | Sugar: 4g





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The Hidden Time Bomb That Will Destroy Your Marriage and The Secret for Defusing It

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Too many marriages are failing today and even trained marriage counselors don’t know why. I have been a marriage and family therapist for more than fifty years and the headline on my website “Confessions of a Twice-Divorced Marriage Counselor” introduces you to what I’ve learned in my own life and what I have done to help thousands of men and women recognize that divorce is not the answer. Spoiler alert: My present wife Carlin and I have been married for 45 years now and our love grows stronger every year.

            I could write a lot and tell you the full story, but I’m guessing you’d appreciate my getting right to the point and telling you what the time bomb is and the secret for defusing it.

            The hidden bomb causes changes in our brains when we grow up with a “father wound” and the secret for defusing it is to change the false beliefs that were planted in our brains that undermine our relationships.

            Although this deadly time bomb can explode at any time in a marriage, mid-life couples are particularly vulnerable. Susan L. Brown is Director of The National Center for Family & Marriage Research. In a recent article, “The Graying of Divorce: A Half Century of Change,” she offers the following facts:

  • People over 50 are divorcing in record-breaking numbers, and three to four-family generations feel the effects.
  • 1 in 4 persons who divorce in the U.S. is over 50, contrasted to less than

1 in 10 in 1990.

  • As the divorce rate for adults over 50 soars, so does the number of adult children experiencing parental divorce.
  • In their book Second Chances: Men, Women and Children a Decade After Divorce, Sandra Blakeslee and Judith S. Wallerstein tell us, “Divorce is deceptive. Legally it is a single event, but psychologically it is a chain – sometimes a never-ending chain – of events, relocations, and radically shifting relationships strung through time, a process that forever changes the lives of the people involved.”

Understanding and Healing The Family Father Wound

            Although I had written a number of books that helped me understand what causes relationships to fall apart, including international best-sellers including Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places, Surviving Male Menopause, The Irritable Male Syndrome, and The Enlightened Marriage: The 5 Transformative Stages of Relationships and Why the Best is Still to Come, it wasn’t until I tackled the “father wound” that the final pieces of the puzzle fell into place.

            In my book, My Distant Dad: Healing the Family Father Wound, I say,

“There is one problem that surpasses all others in its impact on men, women, and society. It is the father wound. We focus on the importance of mothers in determining the well-being of children. Without the support of their fathers, men become disconnected from their true selves, feeling that others are controlling their lives. The father wound may be the most pervasive, most important, and least recognized problem facing men and their families today. The father wound isn’t restricted to men. Women also suffer from the father wound.”

            As I recount in the book, my father wound began early. Like many men, my mid-life father had become increasingly depressed when he couldn’t make a living to support his family. Although there were many system problems that led to his losing his job, he blamed himself and felt like he was a failure as a husband and a father. When I was five years old, he took an overdose of sleeping pills.

            Fortunately, he didn’t die. He was committed to the state mental hospital, where the “treatment” of the time was inadequate at best and his condition worsened. I grew up wondering what happened to my father, when it would happen to me, and what I could do to prevent it from happening to other families.

            According to the National Center for Fathering,

“More than 20 million children live in a home without the physical presence of a father. Millions more have dads who are physically present, but emotionally absent. If it were classified as a disease, fatherlessness would be an epidemic worthy of attention as a national emergency.”

            I grew up believing that there was something wrong with me, that somehow I was responsible for my father’s depression and suicide attempt. We now know that “Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)” including the loss of parental support can impact our brain chemistry and the ways we perceive ourselves and our world.

            As I was writing the book, My Distant Dad, I thought I had healed my own father wound and could now share what I learned with others. One of those who found my book helpful was Iyanla Vanzant, the world-renowned spiritual teacher and thought leader, and host of Iyanla Fix My Life on the Oprah Winfrey Network. She said,

“Millions of us grew in a home with a father who was distant, absent, rejecting, or dysfunctional. Jed Diamond’s magnificent healing journey offers us a story of hope, reconciliation, and redemption where we can finally come to peace with our father wound and find real lasting love in our lives.”

            It wasn’t until the book was nearly complete that I realized there was another father wound that was missing. I knew my mother’s father, John, had died when she was five years old (the same age I was when my father went into the mental hospital, but she never talked about when happened or how it impacted her life.

            The wound she never dealt with caused her to marry and divorce three times. I believe, like many, she was “looking for love in all the wrong places,” always searching for the father she had lost, but never realizing it. Like many women she had an unhealthy emotional attachment to me, her son, and was never able to have a successful, long-term marriage.”

            I realized that all the women I had loved the most had suffered from having a father wound: My first wife’s father died when she was seven years old. My second wife’s father couldn’t handle her developing womanhood and totally distanced from her when she moved into puberty. Even my present wife, Carlin, lost her father through divorce.

            Whether you’re a man or a woman I think we all can resonate with the words of fatherhood expert Roland Warren. “Kids have a hole in their soul in the shape of their dad. And if a father is unwilling or unable to fill that role, it can leave a wound that is not easily healed.”

            Of course the healing and defusing of the bomb takes time. I have developed a program that I use with my private clients. You can learn about it and get the course here.

            There is another course that is excellent called “How to Diffuse the Divorce Bomb,” developed by Steve Horsmon, founder of Good Guys to Great Men. You can check out that course here.

            I write a new article every week for those who are part of our MenAlive community. If you are not a subscriber, you can become one here.



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